Hunted Species: The death wish
by Megara-Liancourt
Summary: G1 Side story to “Hunted Species”. Starscream, weakened by a mysterious illness and grounded at the repair bay, ponders on his past and on his relationship with Megatron. Chapter 5: The Hidden Truth. Last chapter!
1. CH1: The Good Samaritan

**Hunted Species – The death wish **

This story is a side-story to the fiction "Hunted Species", and takes place between the chapters 15 and 17. It includes 5 chapters.

**Story line:** Starscream, weakened by a mysterious illness and grounded at the repair bay, ponders on his past and on his relationship with Megatron.

**Category:** Romance, Angst. Rated M for violence.

I express all my gratitude to Maraluch for the editing.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story don't belong to me (That's a pity, again!) but to Hasbro and Co.

* * *

**Chapter 1: the Good Samaritan**

**A.D. 2025, Base number 0025 of the Earth Resistance Force (Old designation of the area: Japan, Tokyo)**

Medical Repair bay 32

Starscream's sensors recorded strong vibrations as a new blast against the base shook the walls and rattled all the glass in the repair bay. Forced to reactivate his optics, he saw nothing but the cold and dark metal of the ceiling. Several meters above him outside the protection of this black ship, Transformers were battling against the Stalkers of the Empire of Sallonia. They were not fighting for revenge or to make the aggressors pay for the destruction of Cybertron; they were fighting for their very survival. And he, Starscream, the fierce aerial warrior, was lying on his berth, unable to join this battle. Unable to battle at Megatron's side.

The walls vibrated once again around him and some equipment fell on the flour. Starscream could hear the other mechs bustle about picking it up and he tried to lift his upper body to have a look at he damage. Unfortunately, he could not; his energy levels were still too low to enable him any movement. He was totally helpless and miserable like he used to be after a beating by Megatron. _'However, it never should have become a vicious cycle of provocation and beating between us,' _he thought, his spark hurt by forgotten sorrows. A file emerged from the bottom of his CPU, the same memory he had visualized the day of his reactivation. The one he usually pushed away because he didn't want to remember it at any cost; he owed his life to Megatron.

* * *

_Pain was unbearable. No circuit in his body was spared the general short-circuit created by his abrupt contact with the ground of Cybertron. He had crashed. He, Starscream, one of the best flyers of the planet, one of its most perfect creations, matching so well with his domain, the sky, had fallen. He was now nothing more than a battered shell, lying in the dust, too exhausted to move, and soon, to think. _

_Worst of all, he was a coward who had preferred leaving his friend to his cruel fate rather than rescuing him. Skyfire was lost forever and it was his fault. He had not been strong enough to carry on with the rescue operation; not optimistic enough to hope that his friend had escaped termination and was awaiting his help. _

_Yes, termination… It was what he deserved for failing, yet again. He was bordering death when he felt a slight pressure on his back and shoulders. Somebody was turning him over, carefully trying not to scratch his already wounded wings even more. He turned his optics on and stared at the bright silver armor he was pressed against. _

"_Skyfire, you're alive," he whispered, reaching for the bright face and gently stroking a cheek. _

_Flaming red optics flashed malevolently at the contact. 'No, it's not Skyfire!' he thought, panic sweeping over him as the return gaze hurt him as fiercely as a canon's shot. He pulled his hand back to his ruined chest, not able to suppress a shiver of fright. He quivered when a strong voice escaped the still and harsh face of the Transformer who was holding him._

"_Fear not, Seeker. You are in good hands. I am Megatron, leader of the Decepticons." _

_Starscream was raised from the ground and strongly held in arms which were certainly more accustomed to slaying that protecting. But strangely, it was not fear he felt but a reassuring feeling of protection. He closed his optics and rested his head against the strongly built chest, lulled by the roar of the vivid engine pulsing beneath the bright armor._

o

_He regained consciousness some time later, but couldn't say when. An eternity had passed since the silver Transformer had leaned over him and said something but he couldn't remember what it was. After powering on his optics he realized that the same harsh features were parallel to his own faceplate, peering into his flickering optics. _

"_Do you hear me, Starscream?" _

_The Seeker shivered when he heard his name, questions popping in his processor like meteors in space after the explosion of a planet. _

"_Who are you? Where am I? What am I doing here?" he screamed, trying to leave the berth. A very bad call as pain struck his torso, legs and finally, spread to his whole frame. He then noticed the abnormal temperature of his body, and felt that all his system were trying to crash; he was burning, devoured by the delirium of fever. Seized by panic, Starscream struggled against the pain before finally capitulating, and gave out a cry of despair. A warm hand settled on the nap of his neck, another on his cracked cockpit, and he was gently guided back to the cool surface of the berth._

"_Calm down, you're not fully repaired," said the blurry silver apparition, "You'll only aggravate your wounds if you move!"_

_Overwhelmed by pain and complete mental exhaustion, Starscream could only comply with the stern advice. The comforting hand continued caressing his neck, slowly guiding him into the darkness of recharge. Through the cloud of his mind, he heard another voice, speaking to the silver Transformer. _

"_Critical stage to be reached in few joors. Solution advised; termination." _

"_Solution denied, Shockwave. I want the lad fully functional as soon as possible!" _

"_At your command, Megatron." _

_o_

_Starscream woke sometime later, and this time his internal clock indicated that he had been in stasis for two orns and six joors. He was in personal quarters, lying on a wide recharge berth, and he understood who the owner of the place was when he spotted the bulky form of the silver stranger. His savior, to be more precise. Feeling uncomfortable waking up in the intimate personal space of an unknown mech, Starscream shifted to a sitting position. To his relief he felt no pain or discomfort when moving. _

"_I see you feel better, Starscream. It took some time to make sure you were no longer in critical danger," purred the silver sentient, walking toward him. _

_"How do you know my name?"_

_"You repeated it in your delirium. How do you feel?"_

_Starscream was about to repeat his questions about his presence here and the name of the stranger, when he remembered that the Transformer had already told him. Scanning his memory bank he found the name, and couldn't help thinking it conveyed a certain expression of power. _

"_I feel better, yes, thank you, Lord Megatron," he replied, slipping out of the berth. "I must join my creator now. I am sure he will reward you greatly for saving my life." _

_"I see," replied Megatron, looking thoughtful. "Forgive me for asking, but... Where does your creator live?"_

_"Idriacon..."_

_To his surprise, black ebony hands settled on his shoulders, and pushed him back to the berth. Starscream took notice of the strength of Megatron's energy field: fiery, powerful. Overwhelming. _

"_You shouldn't go by yourself, Starscream. It's not safe for a young and wounded Seeker to go in this area. You certainly ignore it, but the Idriacon Citadel burned few nights ago and the district is now under martial law." _

_Starscream looked up at him, while a premonition of disaster painfully tightened around his spark._

_o_

_Burned to ashes. There was nothing left of the citadel of Shootingstarr which was passed down through his lineage for thousands of vorns. Struck by the visions of desolation reported by his optics, Starscream almost didn't notice the bows that the rare sentient creatures made when they walked through, and didn't mind answering the questions of Megatron. He didn't react at first when he saw the two severed heads on the console of the main Audience Room and the two bodies. He looked at their chests which were opened, displaying in an indecent way their most intimate contents: their sparks. They were dark, cold. Dead. He shivered while energon dripped from his optics in silence. In complete shock, he offered no resistance when Megatron pulled him into his embrace, gently patting his shoulders. _

"_Cry, son, it will ease your pain." _

_Starscream truly felt pain when remembering Shootingstar's words: "I warn you Starscream, you're no longer welcome in this citadel! No, you are not even my son anymore!" Why was he crying? For a tyrannical creator who had always considered him a loser and had ultimately disowned him? No, it was neither Shootingstar nor Sunstorm, that prideful brother of his that he mourned. He just felt terribly alone; reduced to seeking comfort from a mech he knew absolutely nothing about. _

_"You're the son of Shootingstar, aren't you?" asked Megatron, gently caressing his shoulders and neck._

_This grating voice reminded him he was not alone. He silently nodded and ordered himself to stop crying. And failed. "Who did it?" he sobbed against the silver chest. _

"_The first investigation reached the conclusion that it was an Autobot commando that killed them in order to prevent Shootingstar from having the Seekers' faction joining the Decepticons," explained Megatron while still patting his shoulder. _

"_Autobots?" Starscream repeated, vainly searching what it meant. He knew very few things about the factions. He had left Cybertron so long ago that he had no clue what had happened in his absence. But it looked as though among the plethora of tribes he remembered very few had survived, and the Decepticons of Megatron were an important one._

"_Yes, Autobots, the enemies of the Decepticons. Like this sorry excuse for a Cybertronian!" Megatron harshly stated while he gestured toward a short red bot. The flyer noticed the red insignia on the shoulders of the square-shaped Transformer, then the purple one adorning Megatron's chest. Stopped by the dark accusing finger, the red robot slowly walked to them, his right hand rested on the riffle that hung at his waist. _

"_What are you doing here, Lord Megatron?" he asked with contempt. _

"_Ironhide…Isn't that obvious? Supporting the heir of Shootingstar in his mourning!"_

_The so-called Ironhide looked at Starscream with distrusting optics, if not antipathy. Not really able to process what was happening, the Seeker felt the urge to retreat and flee far away from this uncomfortable gaze. Fortunately, Megatron protectively snaked an arm around him and drew him closer. _

"_And you, what are you doing here? Deleting evidence of the crime?" scoffed Megatron "I thought that only neutral investigators had the right to be on the crime scene!"_

"_Don't jump to conclusions so quickly, Megatron!" hissed Ironhide, "There is no irrefutable evidence the Autobots are involved!" _

"_Hmm, not yet! The truth will be known one day…" _

"_Don't speak of truth when the truth is nothing to you except something else for you to ridicule and twist every breem of your existence!" shrieked the red bot._

_Ironhide's threatening tone didn't impress Megatron and he laughed. "Anyway… Tell Prime that the Decepticons are now protecting Starscream, the heir of Shootingstar," retorted Megatron, and then leaning further in on Ironhide, "And just a forewarning, if happens anything to him. The punishment will be… proportionate to the measure of my wrath!" he added._

_Concluding the threat, Megatron drew a limp Starscream outside the ruins. _

_o_

_Starscream woke from a deep recharge in a room that didn't look like Megatron's quarters. He drew a hand to his still humid and blurry optics, wondering how and where he had once again landed. _

"_You lost consciousness when we exited the ruins. I took the liberty of bringing you back to Dark Mount, my citadel and headquarter of the Decepticons. This is your temporary quarters." _

_Megatron's voice boomed from behind him and he turned around in panic. To his relief the warlord was smiling at him. _

"_I thought you might be shocked, if not afraid, and beside- you have nowhere else to go." Megatron motioned to the berth and leaned over the dejected shape of the young flyer, peering with glowing optics at the blurred optical components before him. "Would you like to join my army, Starscream? You would be safe, learn to defend yourself, develop and use your skills to avenge the murder of your father and brother," he offered softly. _

"_I… I don't know. You've done so much for me already, I don't know if I should." _

_Cool fingers brushed his cheek and then trailed down to his lip component, silencing him. _

"_Shhh… I'm glad if I can be of some help, otherwise, I wouldn't make this offer. Besides, your father was a good friend of mine and I can't leave his son abandoned in the city while assassins are after him!"_

_As the fingers left Starscream lips, he contemplated the massive frame that was completely wrapping him with its powerful presence. He quickly reviewed his other options – almost none – and decided he should accept Megatron's offer. He had nothing left in his life, after all. _

"_I accept. Thank you, Lord Megatron. Thank you for everything!" _

* * *

Starscream dizzily smiled as he recollected this period of his life. Knowing Megatron perfectly well after eons of war as Second in Command, he realized how naive and young he had been at that time. Immersed in the peaceful precepts of Skyfire, he hadn't understood how skillfully Megatron had manipulated him. Gifted with a natural talent in melodrama, the Decepticon leader had put together a remarkable performance, playing on Starscream's sensitivities: his need of affection, his feeling of loneliness, and the desire for attention from a father figure. Not only had Megatron deemed him fit to join the Decepticon army, but he also made him into the best ambassador of the Decepticon cause toward the faction of the Seekers. The Decepticon army registered unprecedented enrollment numbers from the time Starscream appeared at Megatron's side calling for revenge toward the Autobots. The Decepticon leader fairly rewarded him for this undivided support; Starscream became the true "Prince" of the Decepticon Academy. His origins, coupled with the top-ranks he achieved thanks to his outstanding skills and the recognition of the Decepticon Leader, brought him fame and adulation from the other students. Starscream liked it; it was so much more exciting than the strict and austere life to which he had been raised by Shootingstar, or to the simplicity of the life with Skyfire. He felt so alive that he couldn't imagine following another path. 

However, he discovered that the life of a Decepticon was not a game when Megatron summoned him one day to Iacon, in the middle of a raid against the Autobots' main city.

* * *

_Standing on the middle of a destroyed street, Megatron seemed to completely ignore the various projectiles that the Autobots were shooting at him from the ruins of a building. He turned his head in the direction of Starscream when the young flyer switched from tetra-jet mode to robot mode in a split second. _

"_You came at last. What took you so long?" casually asked the Decepticon leader. _

"_I had to change my flight plan several times, Sir. Ambushes from every high building," replied Starscream, visibly concerned, "I don't think we should stay here any longer. There are snipers all around the place!" _

"_Forget the snipers and come here!" _

_Megatron beckoned the Seeker to stand beside him and Starscream obediently complied. He stopped when a laser beam passed very close to his head, but resumed his walk when the silver warlord glared at him. Megatron didn't like cowards, he knew very well, and didn't want to be considered as such by his leader. He stopped beside Megatron, briefly admiring the imposing stature of the warlord. _

_"How long have you been at the Academy, Starscream?" asked Megatron. His voice was not melodious, but it was filled with an undeniable authority. _

_"Two vorns, and 332 orns, my lord," he timidly replied. _

_"Then it's time for you to learn an important lesson," said Megatron. Starscream started when the mech's fusion canon powered on and blasted the wall of the next building. He heard screams from the inside, and then saw two mechs - certainly Autobots - jumping out of a breech and running for escape. One didn't go very far, and exploded in tiny pieces when Megatron hit him with a fusion blast. Starscream watched the scene, horrified; that was the first time he witnessed an act of war, where the life of a Cybertronian creature was cut short in a brutal way. _

_Megatron turned to him, then pointed at the escaping robot. "Kill him," he calmly ordered. _

_"But... I... can't... I-" stuttered the flyer, falling in a deep panic at the thought of what was asked to him. _

_"I said kill him!" roared Megatron, seizing Starscream's hand and installing by force the riffle he wore at his belt, "That's an order, soldier!" _

_The riffle shakily pointed at the retreating back. _

_"I can't... I can't do that!" whined Starscream, trying to withdraw his hand to no avail. Megatron's grip on the riffle and his hand was too strong to free himself. _

_"How could I forget... This is the first time you will practice on a living target... Well, you'll see... It's more thrilling than anything!" _

_Megatron's words only increased Starscream's panic and he struggled against Megatron to get free. The Decepticon Commander, having some difficulties in keeping his hold on the flyer eventually shifted behind him. One of his arms gripped Starscream's hand and forced him to hold up the riffle while his other arm snaked around Starscream's free arm and torso, immobilizing him. _

_"I'm not giving you a choice, Starscream. It's him, or you!" _

_"No please, don't make me do it!" cried the Seeker, energon tears blurring his optics. _

_"Oh, I won't force you... But he will! Look!" _

_The fugitive Autobot, driven back to the ruins that blocked his escape, had turned around and was now aiming at them with his riffle. Starscream felt his spark jump with terror when he understood he could die. Megatron's hand set on his canopy, at the place where his spark was, increasing his terror._

_"You see, Starscream... If you don't kill him, he will shoot, aiming at your spark. My hand will be shattered, but even worse, your spark will be extinguished. You will die, Starscream!" he heard Megatron whispering in his audio. _

_As if in a nightmare, he saw the other mech powering up his canon, and his finger pulled the trigger almost by itself. There was a detonation, then a cry; the Autobot fell on the ground in a metallic heap. As for Starscream, he was shaking like a leaf against Megatron._

_"At last," sighed the warlord, "But it's not finished." _

_Keeping a firm hold on Starscream's hand, he walked to the fallen robot while pulling the quivering flyer with him. The Autobot was still functional, although the blast had caught him in the middle of the torso and had severed several important systems. He voiced incoherent noises when the two Decepticons approached. Standing over the moribund robot, Starscream couldn't take it anymore, and tried to turn his face aside and look somewhere else, but Megatron gripped his chin and forced him to stare at his victim. _

_"And now, the most important lesson: look at his optics! And tell me what you see!" _

_Fear and pain, it's what he saw: the fear and pain he had caused. And disturbingly, he could see also himself, struggling in Megatron's grip, reflected in the blue of his optics. _

_"I see... me... and you... Fear... Pain..." _

_"Look closer and tell me what you see!" _

_Megatron's fingers slipped in the palm of Starscream, then set on the trigger. The flyer let out a horrified choke when the weapon powered once again and the beam entered the wound on the chest of the Autobot. The glow in the blue optics died, and the head of the soldier shifted aside. A last shake and then the body was still. _

_"Oh, Primus! He's... He's dead!" cried Starscream, his legs almost giving way under him. _

_"Tell me what you see..." Megatron whispered, his lips almost brushing his audio receptors. _

_"I... I can't-" sobbed the flyer, looking away. "Please, don't- "_

_"Tell me what you see!" growled the warlord, shaking the trembling frame. _

_Panicked at the idea that Megatron could take on him if he didn't reply, Starscream did his best to clear his mind. "I saw... the reflection of you... and me... in his optics." _

_"That's it, Starscream. That's the essence of a Decepticon's life: watching his own reflection in the optics of the enemy he has killed. Take care you keep seeing your reflection in dead optics in battles! The day you don't see it anymore would mean you're dead!" Megatron chuckled darkly and continued, "Or that you had ripped off his optics."_

_Megatron released his pressure on Starscream's limbs, almost sending the flyer falling to the ground. With an effort he wouldn't have thought possible, Starscream managed to steady his balance and blankly stared at Megatron. _

_"Ye... Yes, Megatron!" he stuttered._

_"Perfect, Starscream, you're now a Decepticon! You're not weak, the others are. You fear nothing: the others fear you. You won't be killed like your creator, you will kill the ones who assassinated him!" declared Megatron, cheerfully patting the flyer's shoulders. "Come with me to Sector 8; we have an Autobot Headquarters to bring down!" _

_"At your command, Megatron!" answered Starscream, briefly peeping at the dead optics of the Autobot. This time fear did not agitate his spark. Instead he felt the warmth of relief and security. He was not weak anymore. _

_Starscream killed two other Autobots that day without the help of Megatron. _

* * *

Starscream searched his data bank for a trace of guilt or remorse but couldn't find any. He had been part of so many battles and he had sent to oblivion countless Autobots, but couldn't feel the slightest regret about what he had done in war. He didn't even hold it against Megatron for transforming him into a murderer; he would have died if the warlord hadn't changed the naive and weak scientist he was into one of the fiercest Decepticon warriors. 

A few days after that "initiation" raid, Starscream was surprised to see the Supreme Commander of the Decepticons waiting for him at the exit of the repair bay where his new talents in battle had sent him. Megatron congratulated him out loud, so that all the Decepticons passing by could hear him, and made no reproach about his first hesitation with the killing shot. Not far from them one of his most trusted lieutenants, Soundwave, was waiting, impassive and cold. Starscream tried to forget this disturbing presence to focus on what the exalted Megatron had to say and obediently followed him when he was pressed to accompany him to his office. Megatron seemed extremely satisfied with his behavior on the battlefield, and wanted to continue his "training" by himself. Starscream, so thrilled at the idea that the "Great Warrior Megatron" granting him so much importance, didn't even tried to argue, much less refuse.

Starscream learned very quickly that Megatron had another nickname, the "Slag Maker," and witnessed with horrified optics the massacre of dozens of Autobots. Megatron was ruthless, merciless and quite imaginative. A few times he asked Starscream to finish off his victims, lavishing advice on how to "make it painful." Here also, Starscream decided to comply and forgot the precepts taught by Skyfire. "Don't take the life of others," was the first commandment he buried deep in his memory bank. He didn't try to understand Megatron's reasons for continuing in this conflict against the Autobots. He considered himself too emotionally connected to the "Silver Tyrant" - another nickname for Megatron - to leave the conflict or question him about his motives. And in this world destroyed piece after piece, being at Megatron's sides and listening to his advice assured him the biggest chance of staying alive. His reason, guided by a natural cowardice and a need for recognition, allowed him to become the most loyal servant of Megatron.

Indeed, Megatron wasn't giving his time sparingly; Starscream was constantly at his side, ready for a sparing session (Megatron taught him the handling of various weapons; from riffles to swords, including more antique weapons) or for listening to Decepticon philosophy. He also taught him the art of deception, another core value of a true Decepticon. Megatron always had opposition in his ranks and was used to getting rid of them discretely, or more openly if the situation required an example. He showed him the skills needed to mislead his prey, to strike and to assassinate with no mistakes. He quickly put Starscream to use in this: the Seeker became his secret executioner, along with Soundwave.

The first real recognition for Starscream came the day after a major push against the allied forces of Autobots and the surviving Neutrals. Once again sent to the repair bay after an audacious raid through the enemy lines, he was summoned by Megatron for a private meeting as soon as his wounds were healed. After an orn he ran as quickly as possible to his leader's office.

* * *

_Megatron was casually seated on his impressive throne, a smug expression on his face that didn't even bother Starscream. For a long time now, he had decided that Megatron's features bore nothing but power, aristocracy and an incredible charisma. _

_"I see that you are fully repaired and operational," purred the silver warlord. "Come closer, Starscream." _

_"Yes, my Lord..." Starscream replied, feeling a little nervous. _

_The Seeker walked as fast as he could without losing the distinction he knew was appreciated by Megatron, then knelt in front of the throne, waiting for the Master to speak. _

_"You've done very well in this last battle, Starscream." Megatron rose suddenly from his majestic chair and walked down the stairs until he reached his kneeling Seeker. "Rise!" _

_The flyer rose to his feet, not daring to look at the fiery optics of the Decepticon leader, but hung on to his every word. He tensed when one of the large dark hands set on the top of his head and patted him as if he were a pet. _

_"I've been watching over you these last battles, and you prove to be extremely competent in the art of aerial war, but also imaginative, and I would say, deadly efficient," spoke Megatron, now brushing Starscream's cheek, absent-mindedly, "I have pondered how I could reward such talents, and I have now the occasion to do so!"_

_"But Megatron, you don't need to..." _

_"Shhh!" The index of Megatron warningly pointed at Starscream, silencing him, "How many times do I have to tell you to never interrupt me? As you know, Skydust, the current Air Commander, has been incapacitated for a long time, if not permanently. I want you to replace him, as Air Commander, and fourth in command of the Decepticon army!" _

_Starscream's optics almost bulged out of his face and his mouth outlined an "Oh!" of surprise, awe, and joy... every strong feelings that can go through a young spark, promoted to a senior rank. It sent him straight in the arms of Megatron, chanting like a litany: "Oh, thank you, Sir! My Lord, I will be loyal to you till the end!" _

_Megatron swayed a little, and after a few seconds, pushed him back gently, but firmly. _

_"I'm sorry, Sir! I didn't mean-" stuttered the flyer, realizing what he had just done. "- I'm sorry for being over familiar."_

_Was it him, or were Megatron's optics shining in an unusually soft light, and his lips outlining a kind of genuine smile? _

_"Never do it again-" said Megatron, "- and now, you are dismissed. Be ready for this afternoon's meeting, I will officially announce my decision to my other officers." _

_Starscream bowed as he had never bowed before, and he left the office in awe. _

**To be continued...**


	2. CH2: Road to Hell

On this beginning of the New Year, I wish you a very happy 2008!

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Road to Hell**

**A.D. 2025, Base number 0025 of the Earth Resistance Force (Old designation of the area: Japan, Tokyo)**

Medical Repair bay 32

"It's a giant four-footed machine, a Super Tanker," murmured Hook, "and it's armed with multiple canons, lasers- everything that the Salonians have in store to kill Transformers. Prowl told me that we might face an influx of wounded Cybertronians within the next couple of hours."

"Gentlemen, I think the situation is clear. We have to finish working on our current patients, bring them back to their quarters, and then be ready for the carnage," stated Ratchet. The medic threw a glance in Starscream's direction and lowering his voice, "try to avoid speaking about this in front of Starscream. Care should be taken not to upset him so that he can get in a good recharge," he added.

"Yes, of course."

O

Starscream sighed, and set his attention back to the ceiling. _Too late for whispering, people._ He had heard everything and anxiety was clenching his spark even stronger than before. His overtaxed CPU produced awful images of Megatron being squashed under the giant foot of this "Super Tanker" and he trembled nervously. Feeling sick with the horrible details of this vision, he forced himself to think of something else. Files from the past popped out from the bottom of his CPU, and one opened almost by itself.

'Oh, yes. That…" he whispered, smiling at the movies quickly playing before his optics. "My first inspection of the aerial troops. I was so busy…"

And indeed, during the few orns that followed his nomination as Air Commander of the Decepticon Army, Starscream was extremely busy. Flying through enemy lines with missiles and other explosives caressing his tetra-jet frame was an easy thing for him, who had been trained by the best instructor on Cybertron; his creator, the late Shootingstar. Having the other Seekers doing the same was a different issue. None of the Seekers had the same maneuverability and even the most experienced were quite reluctant to follow him in action. Here also, Megatron quickly entered the scene and strongly supported the young flyer as the leader of the flying army, the one to follow even at the cost of their own lives.

The respect that Starscream initially felt for the Decepticon leader turned into true adoration; Megatron was his God, his master, the father he had always wanted, the friend who could give him support. All those figures were mixed-up in a devotion bordering on fanaticism. And slowly, so slowly that he almost didn't feel it coming, another sentiment grew in his spark. He only understood it when his core tingled in pure jealousy as he saw his leader surrounded by an escort of femmes. He hissed in displeasure when Megatron's hand came to rest on the lower back of a blue femme, the favorite at the time. This category of Transformers was known for their dispositions and for creating new sparks. The idea that Megatron was in search of a Queen able to give him an heir irritated him the most and he started to observe the night comings and goings of Megatron's quarters with jealous attention. He understood that he had gone beyond the point of no return when one night while reaching his climax in the hands of a young flyer of the Academy, he shrieked the name of his Supreme Commander. The following morning brought with it a feeling of illicit deception as he recalled that it was not Megatron's hands around his waist, nor his lips trailing on his faceplate.

Starscream selected his partners according to the strict criteria of their paint job – silver or white – and didn't hesitate to threaten them in case they tried to mention the name he shrieked in ecstasy. This masquerade didn't free him from the growing need of getting into Megatron's intimacy and his anxiety of never reaching it. He knew that nobody chose Megatron. It was Megatron who chose his partners, usually for a short time. The only hope he had was that the leader, attracted by his handsomeness, would call for him one day for something other than warfare. And biding his time, waiting, Starscream decided to learn about the one he called "My Love" in his dreams.

That was how he had entered this road to hell. His search for information about his glorious leader led him straight into a dark room in the basement of the Decepticon Academy, were a purple Con' bearing the same features as Megatron told him a very disturbing story about the death of his relatives.

* * *

"_I guess that it would have been hard for you to come back to the citadel of your creator and found he and your brother had been killed... by Autobots, right? It was what Megatron told you, wasn't it?" s__aid the purple and silver Transformer._

_Starscream nodded once again, the image of this macabre discover flashing through his memory bank. _

"_Yes, he was with you and comforted you when you started to cry and were almost driven insane by the pain. He showed that you had a future and led you to a path of dedication and obedience. He rewarded you so much for your loyalty, didn't he? He offered you, the heir of Shootingstar, the assassinated Air Commander of the Cybertronian Army, a senior title in the Decepticon army. But try to see behind it all… Don't you think it was a symbolic action that could drive the hesitating Seekers straight into the same army as you, and push them to punish the Autobots for this crime?"_

_The Seeker jumped on his feet and stared at the mech with flaming optics.__"You mean... It was a trick... That Megatron ordered the assassination of my creator and my brother? " squealed Starscream, shaking under the strong emotions coming from deep within him. Was it disbelief, or a forgotten anger? A never expressed rage or an unfulfilled desire for revenge which rose from his processor at the evocation of this unsolved crime?_

"_No, young flyer. He didn't order it; he did it himself. He executed your brother first and then killed Shootingstar. I was here with Shockwave."_

_Starscream's knees buckled and he fell to the ground; drained of his power by the statement.__"No, it can't be... You're lying!"_

"_Alas, it's the truth. I have a record of it, here," said the mech, pointing at his chest. "After this terrible act of war, or I'd say, of cowardice, I became revolted by the monster that my brother had become and I decided to abandon "his cause." I kept the record in the hope of unveiling the truth to the Great Council of Cybertron but Megatron didn't allow me the time to accomplish this last mission. He confronted me and locked me here, where I've been prisoner for almost five million years. Fortunately, I haven't waited in vain, you're here and you'll be soon able to avenge your creator." _

_Starscream looked with a kind of disbelief the purple and silver Transformer pressing a panel on his chest, which slid open on a golden disk embedded in a rectangular electronic device.__"This is yours, Starscream, Heir of Shootingstar. This is the evidence that Megatron destroyed both your creator and your brother," he said, holding the disk to Starscream. _

_The Seeker took it and stared at the piece of metal, so small in his trembling palm, but holding such a terrible secret. After long minutes of reflection, he opened a compartment on his chest and slid the disk inside. A scream escaped him as the images began to flash before his optics.__ He swayed, trying to keep his balance but landed on his knees. When the movie stopped playing, e__nergon tears were running down his cheeks. It took all the energy he had to brace himself and stop trembling. _

"_Megatron, I swear that I will make you pay! I swear that I'll make every moment of your existence a true hell on Cybertron! I will do my best to make you fall and take the precious power you've killed my family for!" he yelled, whipping away tears, "Yes, I will take your power and make you grovel at my feet and then I will destroy you! I will be the new ruler of the Decepticons, make you beg for your life, and then dish out the ultimate punishment!__You hear me, Tyrant? I WILL KILL YOU, MEGATRON!"_

* * *

'_How could you believe him, and not me, your saviour? You didn't even give me a chance to prove to you that it was a false accusation!' _

Starscream hissed in pain as his spark burned in his chest at the remembrance of Megatron's reaction when he had viewed the scenes a few days before. The warlord was right; he had been an idiot to react as he had, believing the words of the false Galvatron. Unable to control his emotions, he had sent both Megatron and himself into a whirlwind of hatred and betrayal. It was the biggest mistake of his life.

* * *

_When he returned to his quarters after the confrontation with the so-called "Prisoner GLTR-119," Starscream was shaking, crying, and burning with rage. He walked to the middle of his quarters, arms wrapped around his chest with tears flowing down his cheeks. His chin rested on his canopy and his blue hands. The one he considered a God, a Master, a Father; the Transformer he wanted so much to be loved by... Megatron was nothing more than the monster who had killed his creator and his brother. He had considered him a savior all this time, while Megatron had lied and used him to get the Seekers to join the Decepticon faction. _

"_Megatron, you bastard! I love you, and you, you're just using me," he shrieked. He gathered his head into his hands; his processor was throbbing and his spark was breaking in two with an incredible pain. "No! No! I hate you! Damn it! I hate you, Megatron! I'll kill you! I will take my revenge!"_

_Overwhelmed with pain and fury, he grabbed the first thing he could and threw it against the wall, not even able to see it was his precious personal computer. __"I'll snap your head against this wall!" he roared, "I'll crush your CPU under my foot!" _

_He laughed in an insane uproar, but didn't recognize his own voice. The heat in his chest increased and all reason left him. Seized by hysteria, he grabbed the small objects sitting on his desk, and sent them flying across the room. Then came the berth, which crashed nearby the now defunct electronic device, soon followed by a small table. His chest burning in an all-consuming fire, Starscream howled in pain and crashed to the floor of the devastated quarter, unconscious._

_O_

_He awoke sometime later, when his internal clock reminded him he was supposed to attend a meeting with the Tyrant himself. Physical pain had disappeared but the emotional ache he felt on his spark was pure torture and he knew there would be only way to ease the suffering. He made his way toward the War room, deciding to take immediate revenge. _

O

_He spotted the Tyrant as soon as the doors slid open. _

_"You're not except from being on time for meetings, Air Commander Starscream!" said Megatron harshly. The warlord slowly looked up with red optics burning in reproach. _

_Starscream could detect a kind of confusion in the Decepticon leader's optics when he raised his null-rays. He fired without hesitation but Megatron shifting aside with a remarkable speed, the blast ended on the back of his chair. All the officers jumped out of their seats, some of them ready to leap at him while some others moved in front of Megatron in protection. Starscream saw the only way to reach Megatron; he transformed into his jet mode, scratching his dorsal wing on the ceiling, and dodged the Transformers who tried to catch him. Shifting back to robot mode, he awkwardly landed on the middle of the long table and heard the metal of his ankle cracking. Ignoring the pain and focusing on his prey, he managed to leap far enough to crash against the standing leader, bearing them both to the ground; Starscream on top of Megatron, the barrel of the null-ray set against the white faceplate. _

_"Now, it's me who will teach you a lesson," he hissed with venom. "You always pay for bad decisions!"_

_He heard an amused laugh, followed by his own voice, shrieking in terrible pain. Megatron had grabbed his other arm and twisted it behind his back so strongly that the joints broke. _

_"I'm afraid you still have much to learn, Starscream. For example: avoiding long declarations when you have your enemy at the receiving end of your barrel!" _

_Starscream tried to fire but his battle system refused to obey, scrambled by the pain in his arm. Defeated, he collapsed against Megatron, begging for the pain to stop. Taking advantage of his dizziness, Megatron shifted their position and slammed his head against the floor. Knocked out, Starscream coughed energon when Megatron mercilessly crushed his back under his foot. His canopy shattered under the pressure, but he didn't register the pain; he was shutting down, sinking into total darkness. He only heard Megatron saying in an almost frightening calm: "Soundwave, bring him to the repair bay. I want Hook and the Constructicons to run a complete check on him. I want to know why he's done this." _

_O_

_When he woke up he was lying on a repair berth and was linked to several machines, sinisterly purring from the shadows of a dark corner. He couldn't move or speak, just see. And the first face he saw was Megatron's white faceplate leaning over him, scrutinizing his face like he had done so many times before. He remembered how he had panicked at those times but it was absolutely nothing compared to what he felt now. _

_"You say there is nothing dysfunctional with him, Soundwave? Is this a joke? One of my most loyal officers tried suddenly to kill me after trashing his quarters, and you tell me he's completely normal?!"_

_"I repeat, Megatron. Tests show all his systems are functioning normally. Processor just overheating. Might be the consequence of strong pressure which couldn't be handled by his logic system..."_

_"In other words, Soundwave?" growled Megatron, annoyed. _

_"Nervous breakdown. He's quite young for his position, after all." _

_Megatron shot him a resentful glance. "I chose him because I knew he was perfectly able to handle the position of Air Commander. And I trained him for this. There must be something else, search deeper! And call me when he's awake and able to speak." _

_The silver Tyrant left, abandoning him to Soundwave, the Constructicons' tests, and his lethargy. _

_O_

_His interrogation came right after the tests reached the conclusion that he was suffering from no mechanical or electronic dysfunctions. Megatron stood in front of him, wearing a blank and unreadable expression on his faceplate. _

_"Tell me what this tantrum was about!" _

_Starscream turned his face aside to avoid the warlord's gaze but Megatron caught his chin with his hand and forced him to peer into his burning red optics. _

_"Look me in the optics when I ask you a question," growled the Decepticon leader, "and tell me why you tried to kill me!" _

_Starscream tried to sustain the same intensity in his optics, but failed. The pressure on his jaw was increasing and he knew he had to give an answer if he wanted to preserve this part of his face. _

_"Because I don't believe in you any more!" he spat. _

_He saw confusion clouding Megatron's optics, like previously in the war room, and also some other feelings: disappointment, hurt and even pain. It brought some comfort to Starscream despite the desperate situation he was currently in. _

_"Explain!" Megatron hissed through clenched teeth. _

_The thought that he might be killed as soon as he confessed he knew who his creator's real murderer was emerged in his CPU clear as crystal. He had to bluff in order to stay alive if he wanted to finish the Tyrant one day. _

_"I don't believe in you... and your strategy," breathed the Seeker, "I don't know where you're leading us. Chaos? Nothingness? You're just a blind fool who leads other blind fools!" _

_Megatron's optics glowed so intensely that Starscream believed they would explode under the overcharge. Surprisingly, the leader withdrew his hand from Starscream chin and came to rest at his side. _

_"So what, Megatron? Disarmed by the realization of your own incompetence?" sneered Starscream, encouraged by this reaction. _

_A black fist slammed in his helmet, sending him crashing to the floor. The shock was rude, leaving Starscream's dazed and bleeding energon from his cracked lip component. _

_"Ungrateful little brat!" he heard from above him. _

_Looking up, he yelped as he saw the barrel of Megatron's fusion canon set right against his face. _

_"I should kill you right now for your betrayal and assassination attempt!" roared Megatron, "But I haven't spent so much of my time transforming the whining and weak son of Shootingstar into a Decepticon officer to see him betray me in the end! I warn you, Starscream. You owe me much, and you belong to me. I will make you obey at any cost!" _

_"Try to break me! You'll fail!" replied Starscream, conscious it could be his last words. _

_The lips of Megatron broke into a devilish smile. "Oh, I will break you," he purred and continued with a sinister grin. "First, I'm sending you to the Ninth quadrant, on the battlefront. But you won't go there as fourth in command of the Decepticon army, nor as Air Commander. No, you will go as a simple soldier, using your time there to contemplate your obligations." _

_The Tyrant broke into a devilish laugh, soon mimicked by Soundwave and Shockwave. Despite his dizziness, Starscream tried to sit on his knees but was stopped by two guards, who took hold of his arms. _

_"Megatron, no! You don't have the right to do that!" shrieked Starscream, realizing his demise. _

_"Oh, yes, I have every right!" mocked Megatron, "I am the leader of the Decepticons." And as he beckoned the guards to take him out the room he added, "And you are one of my soldiers!"_

_Held captive by the two giant drones, Starscream was reduced to kicking their massive legs, to no avail. When he realized he had no chance to break free, he managed to turn his head around and gave a derisive warning._

_"One day, you won't be the leader anymore! I swear it to you, Megatron!__** Argh**__!"_

* * *

Yes, he had been the first to attack and started this private war; this circle of insults, taunting, blows, and reconciliation. He had been the one to light the fire and had been summarily punished for it. 

"The Ninth Quadrant… The 0025 base… The hell hole," Starscream murmured. The rumble of an explosion echoed to his words, so much like to the noise he had to cope with in the Ninth Quadrant. This place was just a hell in which Cybertronians fought Cybertronians in a din of explosions that cratered the ground and vaporized the warriors battling on it. Megatron had selected this first punishment in order to break him of any further ideas of rebellion.

* * *

_Starscream quickly understood that Megatron didn't want him dead, as direct access to battle was totally forbidden to him. As "Observer," he was in charge of elaborating reports about "the strategy of Autobots attackers in battle". For this position he was assigned to a bunker in the eighth district of the former city of Kairona, the capital of the Ninth province which had been transformed into the wasteland of the Ninth Quadrant. It was situated high enough so that no bomb, missile or enemy could reach it. Inside, Starscream could feel each rumble and shake destroying parts of the hill. The place was narrow, enabling him few moves, and exacerbated his natural claustrophobia. The soldiers bringing his supply of Energon were the basest of the Decepticon army. All had been told that the "young Air Commander Starscream" had been exiled there. Some despised him openly, calling him "little brat" and other colorful titles; some others tried their chances with the "femme-looking Seeker." Several times, Starscream had to use his null-rays to remind them that even if he had lost his title, he was still a warrior._

_He thought he could withstand this punishment for a long duration, but __after few orns, __the succession of explosions, shakes, insults and harassments finally took a toll on him. Deprived of recharge, his mind started to race and led him to one final conclusion. He couldn't kill Megatron in one shot. He had to torture him first, taking away from him what he cherished the most, have him beg for it and then, only then, he could send him to oblivion. More recharge time without real powering down was enough to have him decide that he had to become the leader of the Decepticons. As his mind reached the dangerous limit between sanity and madness, a last thought saved him from the dark; he had to go back to Dark Mount if he wanted to follow this new plan. He could do nothing here and certainly couldn't shoot the Tyrant to death if he stayed in this rotten bunker. With shaking hands, he activated the direct COM'link with Megatron. Surprised that the grating voice replied to him almost immediately, he swallowed his pride and begged for pardon. _

_O_

_A few breems later, after a quick trip to the ion shower of the citadel, he was kneeling in front of Megatron, his most charming smile on his face, his best apology flowing from his lips. Soft and repentant, he perfectly hid his rebellious intentions… until Megatron tried to reach for his helmet, and pat it as he used to do before the "incident." Starscream did his best to not withdraw but couldn't resist the temptation; he shifted back and smirked when Megatron's hand grabbed nothing but thin air. _

"_I'm not your pet!" he declared proudly, smiling with a devilish grace. _

_His smooth retort didn't help him to escape Megatron's second attempt to take possession of Starscream's faceplate; this time, it was not a sign of affection, but pure anger. The fingers, deadly as iron stakes, snapped around the flexible alloy of the flyer's throat, pulling him closer. The furious gaze pierced his optics and the harsh features brushed against his dark metal skin. _

"_Put this in your sorry processor, Starscream! Not all is forgotten, and certainly not forgiven," growled the warlord, increasing the pressure without care of the whimpers of his prey, "Stop provoking me if you don't want me to send you for a long stay in the repair bay!"_

_Starscream remained silent and hated himself for trembling in fear, and he had to admit it, desire. Woken by the intermingling of their energy fields, this feeling that Starscream had buried deep in his spark flared to life in his body; a delicious heat in his circuits and systems, and totally contradicting his previous reaction. His gaze wandered on the harsh face that was set so close to his, and he briefly dreamt of forbidden attentions. His position of weakness was suddenly not frightening anymore, but exciting. It was how he had always imagined Megatron seducing his partner; dominant and powerful, physically taking rather than giving love. And for a twisted reason that he couldn't figure out, when his energy field capitulated and was overwhelmed by Megatron's strength, he realized that he wished for nothing else but being abused. 'Primus, what's wrong with me?' _

_He was snapped back to reality when pain exploded in his back as Megatron slammed him against the next wall. Starscream collapsed slowly into a heap, letting out a long moan of pain. When he managed to look up, Megatron was walking to his throne, turning his back on him. Scornful words scratched his audios to wound his dignity and pride. _

"_Out of my sight, little fool! And don't show up here again until you prove to be useful!" _

_O_

_It took him some time to reclaim his motor functions. His desire and dreams abandoned him, replaced by a dark furor. He finally__ limped to the exit of the throne room, muttering resentful and cursing insults in an increasingly louder voice, under the indifferent gaze of Megatron. Once outside, he had the shock of facing two of his own kind: a purple and black Seeker, and another one, of a silver and sky blue paint job. _

"_Out of my way!" Starscream barked, dismissing the two tetra-jets with a disdainful wave. _

"_Sorry to disappoint you but Megatron's orders are clear… We are your wing mates now," replied the black and purple jet. _

"_You're WHAAT?" Starscream exclaimed, looking outraged, "I don't need wing mates! I fly by myself!" _

"_Well, not any more. I'm sorry, this is Megatron's order," insisted the blue flyer. _

_Starscream didn't try to hide his growing exasperation. No doubt the two jets were spies sent by Megatron to watch over him. Very well, they would pay for his humiliation._

"_And what's the name of Megatron's two little pets?" he asked mockingly. _

"_I'm Skywarp," replied the purple mech, and then pointed at his comrade, "This is Thundercracker." _

"_Pff! Ridiculous! Your creators named you after an Energon hangover?" sniggered Starscream, crossing his arms on his chest. To his dismay, the two other Seekers seemed to ignore his insult. He had to play a tight game if he wanted to send them packing._

"_No, Lord Starscream. We have been named after our capabilities. Skywarp is able to warp in space," calmly explained Thundercracker, "As for me, I can produce and control quite powerful __sonic booms, and-"_

"_And you know what? I don't care!" cut in Starscream, walking to the blue Jet while looking threateningly at him. He smirked when Thundercracker looked away. Starscream gave the same treatment to Skywarp but the black and purple jet withstood his glare, not aware of the rising threat to his health. Furious, Starscream backhanded him. Shocked, Skywarp touched his cheek with a hand and finally looked aside, which brought back the sly smirk on Starscream's faceplate. "So, the old windbag ordered you to become my wing mates. Let's see if you can follow me in the sky. It will be your entrance examination!" he purred, quickly putting together a plan to get rid off the two "nuisances." _

_To his great disappointment, Skywarp and Thundercracker completed the test successfully. However, Starscream was determined to discourage them and during the following orns he used the most despicable tactics he could think of to get rid of them, varying from frequent insults to pure and simple abandonment on the battlefield. He disliked them mainly because Megatron had forced them onto him as wingmates, but that was not the only reason. Skywarp and Thundercracker had been friends for a long time and this friendship irritated him. Every time the two Seekers supported each other while putting up with Starscream's humiliations, the young Air Commander could feel his spark nagged by a terrible feeling of loneliness. He didn't like Thundercracker, finding him strangely quiet despite his pompous name. The blue flyer hid his thoughts, answering questions with minimum words as if it cost him to activate his vocal processor for Starscream. But the one he had the most difficulties coping with was Skywarp. The dark Seeker was exuberant, talkative, slightly crazy, and worst of all he was taller than Starscream and appreciated by Megatron. He loved pulling pranks, an activity that Starscream considered a total waste of time. _

_Starscream only realized too late however, that those pranks could also be a terrible weapon for revenge when he became the victim of one of them._

**To be continued**


	3. CH3: Shame and Glory

I would like to thank all the readers who support this story and Maraluch for beta reading all the chapters. And this chapter 3 is a long one…

* * *

**Chapter 3: Between Shame and Glory**

**A.D. 2025, Base number 0025 of the Earth Resistance Force (Old designation of the area: Japan, Tokyo)**

Medical Repair bay 32

Starscream had to admit that gaining his two wing mates was one of the best things that had happened in his life although he had not rewarded them fairly for their comforting presence. The dazed Seeker bit back a sob when he realized that Megatron had done it to provoke him. But had the Decepticon leader done it just to spy on him? Or was it in the hope of tempering his deteriorating behavior? The truth seemed more elusive than it had been at the time. And in his confused mind he even found some benefit to the most shameful moment of his life, although Skywarp deserved to be kicked in the after-burners for it.

* * *

_Perched at the top of a command board like Lazerbeak on Soundwave's shoulder, Skywarp was haranguing the Decepticons on duty. His voice betrayed that he was about to pull a prank which one of them would regret dearly. The thought of such stupidity made Starscream's circuits boil with rage._

"_What do you have in store in that glitched CPU of yours?" mumbled a young Triple Changer called Octane._

_Starscream shot him a resentful glare for following the purple Seeker in his game. Moreover, this Octane was another protégé of Megatron's, sent to him to be a member of the future "Decepticon Space Elite." He shot an annoyed look in the direction of the other "pieces of scrap metal" that Megatron had forced onto him as trainees. In a far corner trying to ignore Skywarp's speech was the depressed and depressing conehead flyer called Dirge, flanked by his two siblings; the stupid and suicidal Ramjet and the loudmouthed coward Thrust. On the opposite corner of this vast hanger five Seekers were busying themselves with petty tasks that he had assigned them in the morning. Starscream had no doubt that the Tyrant would select and assign him even more recruits._

"_You'll see… and believe me, you're going to enjoy it!" cackled Skywarp, pushing back Thundercracker who was trying to dislodge him from the command board._

_Starscream wanted to shoot the noisy flyer but managed to repress his murderous instinct; he glared at him instead. "Stop your childish games, little brat," he hissed. "Make yourself useful and find a file to work on!"_

"_Oh, only because you asked so nicely!"_

_Smiling deviously, Skywarp pushed a button on the command board and theatrically pointed at the main screen where the shape of a Seeker, bathing under an ion shower appeared. The face was not visible and the paint-job remained uncertain because of the dark layer applied to the picture. The scene could qualify as erotic. Octane, Ramjet and two Seekers welcomed this apparition with whistles and colorful remarks while the others let out more discrete laughs. Starscream allowed himself a moment of silent jealousy while considering those perfect lines and curves, until he recognized the Seeker in the shower. He leapt toward the console to delete the compromising pictures but unfortunately for him, Skywarp grabbed his wrist and stopped him. Starscream faced him but choked on the insults sitting on the tip of his glossa. Letting them loose would have been a blatant confession as to the identity of the "bathing beauty," as Thrust was now shouting at the top of his voice. What was Skywarp thinking?! Blackmailing him? _

_This steam of thought was cut short by Megatron's entrance. The warlord looked at the screen, slightly irritated by the cackles of the assistants. His expression changed from severity to smugness -if not obsequiousness – once he spotted the source of the whistles. _

"_My, my… I didn't know I had such a beauty in my ranks," he chuckled._

_Starscream stared with mouth gaping at the Decepticon leader, while his spark started to dance in his chest despite his will. 'He finds me beautiful?' he wondered, finding the thought disgustingly… pleasant. However, his humiliation wasn't at an end just yet; Starscream fully understood the purpose of it when Skywarp burst into sadistic laughter._

"_Beautiful, but also hot and in desperate need of attention, my Lord," the prankster giggled, "See for yourself."_

_Megatron outlined a sly smile and brushed his chin, appearing suspicious but still interested in the scene. His smile broadened when the layer brightened just at the time the picture proved to be a movie. Cries of awe accompanied the hands of the "Bathing beauty," which came to rest on his canopy and finally opened it. Slender fingers slid into the unlocked treasure under the whistles and thunderous applause of the spectators. They turned to hysteria when the flyer started to dance against the wall, thrilled by his own ministration. _

"_Hey! There's no sound!" protested Octane, "I'm sure the beauty is as gifted for singing as for dancing!"_

_Despite his growing shame, Starscream looked daggers at him. The brat! He would kill him, right after Skywarp!_

"_Fortunately for you!" retorted Skywarp, "The cries would blow out your audios!"_

_Thundercracker looked suddenly horrified and covered his mouth with his hands. Starscream understood that he knew, but that was not what worried him the most. An incredible racket rose when a skilful move of the camera allowed the spectators to have a close-up on the upper body of the "Bathing Beauty" during climax. New applause was heard when the flyer threw his head back and screamed a word or a name. Even Megatron couldn't take his optics of the screen, his energy field vibrating with slight arousal. His mouth gaped wider as he followed with rapt attention the flyer as he slowly slid to the floor, spent._

"_Indeed… It looks like a cry for attention," he said, grinning at Skywarp, "Who is the flyer?" _

"_Behold! The beauty craving the attention of an invisible lover," Skywarp gestured theatrically in direction of the screen, where the layer disappeared gradually, unveiling with an agonizing slowness the color and features of the source of the spectator's desire, "… is Air Commander Starscream!" _

"_Ah" or "Oh" of disgust or consternation popped around the room. Skywarp grinned and then lowering his voice, "My Lord. Just imagine that beauty calling your name in all the variations his crazy vocal processor can," he added._

_Starscream wished he could become a cyber mouse at this precise moment or that the ground would split in two and swallow him. He stared hard at Skywarp when the purple Seeker let go of his wrist, outlining a devilish smirk. Triumphant, Skywarp let out a cruel, "An optic for an optic, and a shot for a shot!"_

_However, Starscream was more concerned by all the snickering and laughs of the audience, and by a pair of red optics; Megatron was staring at him from head to toes with a puzzled expression. Starscream felt like shrinking a little more where the burning gaze literally undressed his armor. Megatron finally burst into his maniacal laughter and turned to the devilish prankster. _

"_Very funny joke, Skywarp!" he gloated, "But I suggest you clean this mess up and go to your quarters." _

"_At your command, Megatron!" the purple Seeker happily replied. He quickly typed a code on the computer and the photo of 'overloaded Starscream' disappeared from the screen. Skywarp eventually bowed in Megatron's direction and then warped out of the command room. _

_Once Starscream's shame cleared a little, he stared hard at Megatron. "That's all you have to say! If I had done such a prank, you would have already shot me with your slagging canon! That's unfair!" he snapped, fist clenched. "That little brat violated my privacy! Argh!"_

_Megatron smirked, keeping his optics roaming over Starscream's frame. "So you don't even try to deny it was you having fun in this movie?" he sniggered._

_Starscream's knees buckled as he understood that he had just dug his own grave. "Me-Megatron. I-"_

"_You let one of your subordinates film a compromising movie of you in an ion shower. A simple ion shower!" the warlord hissed, towering over him, "Who will you allow to come up behind you on the battlefield? A spy Autobot?"_

"_Megatron, I-"_

"_You're disappointing me again, Starscream. I had believed you were always on your guard, but that is not the case. It's your own fault that you let Skywarp taking those pictures when you were bathing. That's a shame for a Decepticon of your rank!" growled Megatron. "I suggest you learn to watch your back now. Who knows, this picture might have given ideas to some mechs…" _

_The last statement came with a low sarcastic growl, together with the light brush of Megatron's fingertips against his cheek. Starscream wished he could push away this hand but couldn't move; instead he looked up, aware that his gaze was nothing else but expecting. The ambiguity of the scene finally hit his processor and he found the strength to rebel against his most hidden impulses. _

"_You're disgusting me!" he barked, his spark throbbing inside its chamber. "How dare you touch me with such ideas in your CPU!" he breathed, pushing back Megatron's hand. He strode to the door and typed the code on the command board. While retreating down the corridor, he tried to ignore the whistles and mockeries but couldn't suppress a shiver of hatred when he heard Megatron throwing a condescending: "Oh, don't worry little fool! You're not my type!"_

_The door closed behind him, leaving him trembling and furious. In his chest his spark burned with humiliation. _

"_I'll kill you for that! Megatron!" he hissed, "And you, Skywarp, you are already dead!"_

* * *

The dark grey corridor of Darkmount faded in his mind when he heard a metallic click that came from his right side. Shifting his head, he saw that Ratchet was checking his status on the command board of the repair berth. 

"Oh. I thought you were in recharge," murmured the CMO, not leaving his optics off the data." Don't worry, it won't be long."

"Where is... Megatron?"

"He left an hour ago. You remember? He was with Galvatron."

Starscream bit back a sob, and tried to lift his head up. "I know. But he didn't let me say... how sorry I was. I had so many things to tell him," he breathed, trying to move his unresponsive body.

"Calm down, Starscream. It won't help!" warned Ratchet, gripping the shaking arm that was trying to catch an imaginary object. "Besides, I'm sure that Megatron won't be happy if you damage yourself more. He asked you to stay here!"

The Seeker didn't fight the pressure that brought his arm to rest alongside his body. He stared at the blue optics, full of compassion, as if he was trying to replay in them the last scene with Megatron.

O

_Megatron looked down at Starscream, and then at the hand that was squeezing his. "I have to go now," he coldly whispered, pushing away the blue fingers._

"_But, Megatron!" protested the flyer, trying to grab his hand once more._

"_Stay here, be quiet. I'll come and see you later."_

O

Starscream felt energon drip slowly from his optics. "He was angry with me. He-"

"He was concerned about you. Terribly worried, I would say. Otherwise, he wouldn't have brought you to the repair bay. Yes?" replied Ratchet, patting Starscream's hand. "But the situation doesn't allow him - or us – to stop at the suffering of an individual. We are under attack, Starscream! And if the Stalkers break into this base, we are all dead!"

A sigh escaped Starscream. "Why can't I understand such simple facts?" he sobbed, "Why do I make so many mistakes? Why do I make enemies out of the ones who are trying to help me! Why-?"

"That's a very good thing that you ask yourself those questions, Starscream," replied Ratchet, brushing a hand against the Seeker's cheek in a sign of comfort. "But you won't find the answers now. And you won't get them alone. Give yourself some time, and for now, rest."

The Seeker nodded at those words which seems very sensible, more than any of the thoughts his own dysfunctional CPU was able to produce.

"Good. I'll be back in a few minutes. I still have repairs to do on Astrotrain."

The footsteps of the medic died away as Ratchet walked away, leaving Starscream were he left off in the movie of his past.

* * *

_The first idea he got was to lock himself in his quarters and plan the painful deaths of Skywarp and Megatron. The black Seeker would be the first on his list to pay for this humiliation. He had almost put together the perfect plan to trap Skywarp away from the base and blast him discretely when Thundercracker and the guilty Seeker showed their faces at the front door. After a long time during which Thundercracker played the difficult role of the patient mediator between two stubborn Transformers swearing to torture and slay one another, a metaphorical light bulb turned on in Starscream's CPU. _

_"What? Are you kidding me?" barked Starscream. "You volunteered to be my wing mates?!"_

_"Yeah! And believe me when I say that we certainly we regret it!" scoffed Skywarp._

_"I haven't asked you anything!" spat back Starscream, glaring at him._

_"Gentlemen, please!" cut Thundercracker, stepping between the two, arms spread in order to push the two belligerent mechs back from each other. He turned to Starscream looking at him with an Autobot-like expression of softness. "Right before your return from the Ninth Quadrant, Megatron summoned the ten best flyers of the Academy. He said that he wanted to recruit two Seekers as wing mates to help you and-"_

_"To help me!" groaned Starscream, "I don't need help!"_

_"Oh yes! I think you need help!" retorted Skywarp, pointing his index to his head, "In your CPU!"_

_Starscream glared at him and wished he could shoot the insolent 'bot right then and there. Thundercracker grinned with embarrassment and gripped Skywarp, placing him protectively behind him. _

_"Look... We really wanted to be your wing mates because you are the heir of Shootingstar. And because you are the youngest officer in the Decepticon army," said the blue Seeker. "You're an example for all the young Decepticons! We admire you!"_

_Starscream threw him a glance that conveyed all the surprise that this statement provoked. "You... admire...me?" he stuttered, feeling a comforting warmth spreading in his spark. _

_"Admir__**ed,"**__ corrected Skywarp from behind his wing mate._

_"Shut up, 'Warp! Yes, we admire you, but you make things so difficult," continued Thundercracker, "We can't carry on our job with you insulting us for whatever reason!"_

_"Yeah! You're such a jerk to us!" whined Skywarp, standing on his tiptoes behind Thundercracker, "We quit!"_

"_For Primus sake, 'Warp!" whined Thundercracker, elbowing his wing mate. _

"_You… quit?"_

_"We're sorry, Starscream. But I think you want to be alone, and we will give you the space you clearly need. We will speak with Megatron and tender our resignation as your wing mates." _

_The blue jet managed his most comforting smile and took a step back, pushing Skywarp. Starscream stared at them blankly while the sweet warmth in his spark died away, replaced by the cold of loneliness. _

_"No! Wait! You can't leave me!" he called the two retreating flyers._

_Skywarp and Thundercracker looked back at him, obviously curious of what he was going to say. Starscream held back his emotions, trying to find the words that wouldn't show the sudden discomfort he felt. As usual when somebody showed him sincere interest, he just felt stupid and helpless. _

_"Alright, alright, I'll stop being nasty with you. You happy now?" he finally mumbled, "But you, if you would stop being Megatron's boot licker, I would be able to tolerate you better," he added, pointing at Skywarp._

_"I am not a boot licker! And I don't understand what's your problem with old Megs! You seemed to like him enough in the shower." _

"_What I think of Megatron is not your business," shrieked Starscream, "__**-and I don't want to hear about that again!**__"_

_"Guys! Guys! We're going round in circles," warned Thundercracker._

_Starscream and Skywarp sighed at unison and looked at each other with a kind of reluctance. _

_"Okay, see you tomorrow for training!" grouched Starscream, retreating into his quarters._

* * *

"Buddies, will I see you tomorrow?" 

Thundercracker and Skywarp, were they alive outside? No doubt Thundercracker would watch over Skywarp and protect him. The black and purple 'Con had always confused battle with playtime. Starscream thought of Thundercracker as the overprotective elder brother who moderated the boiling temper of Skywarp and even sometimes his own foolishness. How many times had the blue jet warned him through their private COM' link that he was about to cross over the fine line of Megatron's patience and be blasted? It was countless. And when Thundercracker was not able to save him from Megatron's fusion canon he was always there to bring him to the repair bay while so many others would have simply let him bleed out. Even after his repairs Thundercracker always tried to knock some sense into his processor, to no avail most of the time. It was exactly as if Starscream was programmed to instigate conflict between the people around him. His wing mates were his frequent targets and Megatron, his favorite prey. Even when the Tyrant was in a good mood Starscream always managed to find a way to make him blow his top. More than a game, it had become his reason to live.

* * *

_Starscream had never seen Megatron in such a good mood and watched with a mixture of disgust and pride as the Decepticon leader admiring him dressed with the red cape. He had been promoted to "Second in Command" of the Decepticon army, right in front of those aft-kissing pets Shockwave and Soundwave. He had to admit that the suddenness of the decision had surprised him. He was right on the verge of crushing one of the major Autobot citadels when Soundwave contacted him and emotionlessly announced that he had been "promoted."_

_This nomination followed a new surge among the Officers' ranks and was motivated by his excellent results in the past offensives against the Autobots. He had never expected such a reward but had welcomed it with a devious joy. And a few breems before this promotion ceremony, Starscream was smiling at the potential of betrayal that was offered to him. He glanced at those private quarters that one day would be his but tensed when he felt a hand setting on his shoulder to adjust the cape tighter around his chest vents. The sensation was more troubling than anything else. Two more slight brushes and he found it completely pleasurable, addicting, and soon dreamed of those dark fingers running along his hips. When he looked up he had a perfect view of the smiling face of the Tyrant and his slightly parted lips. He was so close; maybe he could rest his head against the powerful shoulder or even taste those lips, and make an old dream become true? Heat in the center of his chest reminded him that this dream was dead forever and such thoughts, unwelcome. Megatron was a murderer and a liar who had to be punished. He looked at the purple cape of Megatron, so much more rich and majestic compared to his own ornament, and he remembered that he had to do everything possible to deprive the silver Transformer of his power._

_"Here... That suits you better," nodded Megatron, covering Starscream with a satisfied glance. "Now listen carefully to me. This ceremony will be broadcasted throughout Cybertron. I want to show an army led by top-officers, organized, respectful of Hierarchy, devoted to me. Shockwave will make the announcement and you'll have to bow in front of me in allegiance. Beware, I want this ceremony perfect!"_

_Starscream pushed Megatron's hand away in a disdainful gesture. "Oh, Mighty One. If you want a perfect ceremony, put a flawless being like me on the throne, not an outdated rusty pellet gun!" he purred with his grating voice, soft with seduction. _

_He first saw Megatron's optics shining erratically and then squealed in pain when his back collided with the wall. His complaint died when his throat was squeezed mercilessly and his vocal processor almost shattered under the pressure. His feet lost contact with the ground when Megatron hauled him up to optics range._

_"You never learn do you, little fool?" he growled dangerously._

"_Me… Megatron… Argh!"_

_With his free hand, Megatron unclasped the cape and pulled it from Starscream shoulders. Bringing the top of the ornament close to Starscream's face, he roared with even more anger. _

"_See this? This represents your place in my army... I can give it you back or take it off forever! Understood?" _

"_Please-"_

_Far from calming down, Megatron started to shake the Seeker as if he was nothing more than a mindless drone. Literally choking, Starscream clawed at Megatron's wrist, pleading silently for his leader to release him. _

_"I warn you one last time, Starscream. You've already gotten far more attention from me than you deserve. Take what I offer and don't ask for more. You will never get the leadership of the Decepticons, never!" _

_Starscream cried a sigh of relief when the grip loosened and he fell to the ground. It took him some time to gather himself before looking up. _

_The cape fell loosely on him. _

_"Take it and be ready for the ceremony. And keep this it mind; I want it perfect!" growled Megatron, turning his back on him. _

_That was the last straw. Starscream wished he could shoot the silver Tyrant in the back, but was still too weak to raise his weapons. Sitting with effort against the wall, he watched Megatron leaving the room and then clutched with anger the thin metal of the cape. He would obey this order but it would be the last time. And he would kill Megatron after the ceremony. _

"_Nobody turns his back on me, Megatron!"_

* * *

"I am really a fool, sometimes..." chuckled Starscream. 

He had guessed wrong. Right after the ceremony, he had been sent on missions at the opposite side of the planet. Megatron allowed him very few opportunities to come back to Dark Mount and gave his orders from a distance. Starscream had almost no time left to talk with him and even less to throw insults at him. Almost two million years passed before Megatron summoned him for an urgent mission and he stood in front of the Slag Maker.

* * *

_(3)"Now it's only a matter of time before Prime admits defeat!"_

_Starscream looked condescendingly at his gloating leader; the opportunity of sending him packing was something to be savored, and this was the first one in far too long. _

"_The Autobots would have failed eons ago if I had been in charge!" Starscream snapped back, loving the glare that Megatron threw him in reply. He felt a shiver of excitement running along his neural system; provoking Megatron was so thrilling. A pleasure he had been deprived of. _

"_Starscream, only a select few ever lead," replied sternly the silver Tyrant. _

"_My time will come, Megatron."_

"_Never.__** NEVER!**__" yelled Megatron, leaning over him. Starscream shifted his gaze aside and grimaced angrily while the Decepticon Leader's voice grated his audios. "Prepare for blast off!"_

'_I swear you won't see Cybertron for a long time' thought Starscream. He grinned wickedly while scenarios of betrayal popped into his CPU, 'I'm going to take over!'_

* * *

Starscream smiled derisively; he would have been a very bad soothsayer. Indeed, his guess regarding Megatron being away from Cybertron for eons was right. But he had never thought that they would crash down on this primitive mud ball called Earth (3). He had certainly not foreseen that this crash would plunge them into a deep stasis of four millions years. He could remember very well the day his systems came back online and his optics powered on.

* * *

"_**Composition of atmosphere: a chemical compound composed of two oxygen atoms covalently bonded to a single carbon atom. (1)"**__ recited his computer. _

"_Oh Primus! No! Not here!" he yelled as others memories came back from an obscure corner of his CPU. The data instantly matched others, stored in his databank for so long a time that he had almost forgotten that they existed. He could see himself flying with Skyfire before the large shape of the shuttle was swallowed in a monstrous turbulence. More recent scenes superimposed on the fall of Skyfire and Starscream saw himself caught in a brawl against Prowl and then flames and cries. A quick fall ensued, ending with an incredible shock. Darkness. _

'_Primus, we crashed!' he thought, searching for further information. Data was flashing through his processor but one stream in particular caught his attention._

"_**Multi-mission avionics system includes a head-up display, advanced radar, inertial guidance system flight instruments, ultra high frequency communications, Tactical Air Navigation, Instrument Landing System receivers, internally mounted tactical electronic-warfare system. (2)"**_

_Starscream let out a moan and tried to process the litany on his monitoring system. Major modifications had been brought to his hardware as well as his software. The idea that he had been altered filled him with fear and he threw his hand forward, catching a silver blurry figure which was leaning over him. _

"_Please, don't leave me here! Please-" he begged._

"_Calm down Starscream! I'm here," replied a grated voice that he had no trouble identifying as Megatron's vocal frequency. _

_An arm wrapped tightly around him and he was raised to a vertical position by a quick and strong shove. He didn't mind for some time that he was resting in the embrace of the one being he hated the most and enjoyed the feeling of comfort and protection given by the powerful waves of the fiery energy field. However, the pressure on his lower back loosened and he was forcefully released from the comforting presence. _

"_Stand by yourself, you idiot!" growled Megatron, pushing him aside._

_Starscream powered on his optics and tried to protest but abandoned the idea when he became aware of the wreck he was standing in. Parts of Transformers were scattered about the floor of a trashed command room of the Ark. _

"_Autobots, they have been destroyed!" he stuttered. _

_His gaze roamed over the figures standing around him. He recognized Thundercracker and Skywarp, both deprived of a third wing, and guessed he was suffering from the same loss. He then peered attentively at Megatron and noticed the difference; the shoulders were not as bulky as they were without their tracks but he was still the proud owner of a deadly fusion canon. To his greatest shame, Starscream couldn't help but think his silhouette was slender and so much more harmonious than before._

"_Starscream. You're an idiot!" yelled Megatron, slapping him in the face, "How long will you stay here with that stupid gaping mouth of yours!"_

_Starscream blinked and realized that all the others were gone._

"_We are leaving, imbecile. Leave the Autobots to their doom and their grave!" concluded the warlord._

_The Decepticon Air Commander grumpily followed his Commander and was less than attentive to the babbling that ensued. He felt deeply insulted by Megatron's condescending attitude toward him. When the others took to the air he couldn't help but fire his null rays at the carcass of the Ark, enjoying the crashing and banging of the rocks against the wreck of the Autobots' spaceship. It was so similar to the anger he felt in his spark._

* * *

"What are you laughing about?" The voice of the Autobot medic echoed in his audios together with his own laughter. "You aren't in recharge yet?" 

Starscream managed to smile at Ratchet. "You know you owe me life, Autobot?" he whispered, allowing a new laugh to escape his vocalizer.

"What are you talking about?" asked the CMO, intrigued by his words. He set a hand on Starscream's forehead, "You must be overheating," he added, concerned.

"No. I'm not feeling worse than before," retorted the flyer in a whisper. "That's the truth. I shot at the Ark right after Teletran I revived all the Decepticons. I only realized this years later but, the blast must have created a shock inside and pushed one of your carcasses into Teletran's ray, activating the revival process-"

"Optimus Prime," replied Ratchet, once again drawn into the data of the medical machine.

"What?"

"It's Optimus Prime who had first been revived. He never understood how, but what you say makes sense," replied the white and red bot. "Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that you must rest. Recharge. And it's not by activating your vocal processor that you're going to replenish your energy reserves."

Starscream managed a sly grin. "My vocal processor is how I live up to my name," he murmured. "As long as it works, it means I am who I am."

"For the sake of _our_ audios, you don't need to prove it anymore, fly boy. We all know what you're named after!" retorted Ratchet. He flinched when his COM'link beeped and listened discretely to the message. "I want you to be asleep when I come back here!" he warned, walking away from the berth.

The depleted jet heard the footsteps dying away and allowed himself to return once again to the movie of his past. _Oh, yes! The beginning of the Earth Chapter! _

* * *

_(3) Inhaling with his new intakes the warm air of the desert, Starscream remembered the first day he had landed on this mud ball with Skyfire. Million of years later, he was still standing beside a white and silver Transformer; however, Megatron was not his partner to follow but his Commander to overthrow. He quickly reviewed the situation and came to the conclusion his victory was at hand. Megatron had fewer followers than on Cybertron and didn't know Earth as well as he did. He didn't need to make the futile efforts like he had in the past. And indeed, Starscream did not hide his intentions to overthrow Megatron any longer; instead he expressed his thoughts and desires to whoever would listen to him. Including Megatron._

_He once questioned his own decision the first time Megatron landed in his hands in his gun form. Starscream's first thought was to crush the thin and apparently fragile weapon on his thigh. The thought vanished from his CPU when he realized where his fingers were placed upon Megatron's frame; exactly in the area he had imagined only in his wildest dreams. The sensation of his fingertips brushing Megatron's hips drove him to an unexpected bliss and he shivered when he pulled the trigger. The forbidden sensation became more intense when the recoil of the shot vibrated through his hands and arms, shaking his entire body. He was almost panting when Megatron switched back to robot mode and yelled an order. Flying high in the sky with cubes of energon in his docks, he wondered if he could allow himself to spare the Tyrant. Having him in his hands was so thrilling!_

_This new warmth in his spark was replaced with rage when he saw Megatron landing in the hands of Soundwave and even Skywarp. Starscream cursed him inwardly and swore to bring death to the "bitch that avoided his hands." He called that a return to his initial plan, but years later, he could perfectly name this feeling; it was pure jealousy. Deep inside, he wanted Megatron for himself. Bitter and infuriated he decided to take action as soon as possible and tried to shoot his leader in the back. The result was predictable; Megatron gave him a taste of what could be his deactivation. Surprisingly, the Tyrant shot him in the shoulder – minor wound – and contented himself with Starscream begging for pardon at his feet. The following attempt didn't lead to a better result for him: once in the shuttle bound for Cybertron, he tried to get rid of Megatron but a second of distraction caused by the apparition of Mirage gave him away. He remembered firing at the Autobot spy, then a deep heat on his chest… And nothing. _

_O_

_When he woke up he was lying on a berth in a room that looked like a cell of the Nemesis. There were very few items, save a table and a chair. A familiar silver robot was sitting there, leaning over a map that appeared to be the schematics of a base. Realizing that Megatron was just few meters away and afraid of what could happen to him, Starscream powered off his optics and pretended to be in recharge. _

"_I know you are awake, Starscream," purred the harsh voice of Megatron in his audios. _

_The Seeker kept still despite the fear that seized him. Megatron would certainly punish him for his betrayal. _

"_Listen carefully to me. Do not try to betray me again; it could lead to painful results for you next time!"_

_The threat echoed in his audios, so inappropriately soft that Starscream couldn't repress a shiver. He stirred a little and pretended to awake, optics glowing lightly. _

"_Megatron?" he asked, the tone of his voice imitating perfectly surprise and innocence. He stared questioningly at the silver mech who leaned over his berth. _

"_I guess you got the message, didn't you?" replied Megatron, not amused at the attempted coup. _

"_I…" he replied. Aware that lying would only bring more pain, he finished with a whispered, "Yes, __**my**__ leader." Unable to stand the red gaze, Starscream tried to move out the berth and couldn't suppress a squeal when pain burnt in his abdomen. Two black hands set on his torso and pushed him back to a perfect horizontal position. _

"_Do not attempt to move, little fool. You have been seriously injured in the crash. The Constructicons are busy and they cannot complete all the repairs right now. You will have to wait a few days before getting up," sentenced the Decepticon leader. _

_Starscream tried to protest, but the only thing he managed to do was to choke back his pain. Satisfied with his silence, Megatron went back to work. _

'_They didn't have time to repair me, my afterburner!' reflected Starscream with anger, 'You asked them to postpone the repairs! I hate you!' _

O

_Megatron didn't give him that many opportunities to betray him during the first weeks following the crash. Starscream was kept busy with the construction of a new underwater base and the search for energy. This quest sent him right to the North Pole (4), where he had the surprise of finding the one he though was lost forever. Skyfire, frozen deep in the ice of Earth. Starscream felt an indescribable feeling of joy when he saw the red-striped white wings through the bluish reflections of the ice. During the following hours, he got completely lost in the task of reviving Skyfire until the gigantic frame came back to life. _

_It was during this precious time he understood just how much he had changed. Standing between Skyfire, the mentor of his youth, and Megatron, the mentor of the present time, he could almost feel the difference from their respective energy fields or their way of speaking. And from his own behavior, inspired from Megatron. From his very first intake, he had always needed to mimic the behavior of a "mentor." When he was with Skyfire, he used to adopt his listlessness; his low pronunciation, his composed way of speaking, his general nonchalance. He could almost see, standing close to the white shuttle Transformer, the young and naive Seeker staring at him, asking; "What have you become?"_

_The feeling became stronger when Megatron pushed him away and started to indoctrinate Skyfire. Starscream couldn't squash a real admiration for the silver leader; he was self-confident, totally in control of his emotion and of his lies. He was a perfect actor and manipulator, even able to make himself friendly despite his harsh features and voice. After all, who would suspect this sentient being, whose silver paint job was bright as Peace, to have a spark darker than the deepest smelting pit of Cybertron? Skyfire bought the entire story of Autobots' evilness and Starscream couldn't help but think that he was weak._

_Skyfire wasn't that weak actually; he even showed himself disobedient and treacherous. His peaceful precepts made him reject Starscream's orders every minute they spent together. And Starscream caught himself wishing Skyfire was not there. He felt anger when Skyfire refused to execute the Autobots and no remorse when punishing him. This wish turned to a death knell when Skyfire rebelled against Megatron and ultimately against him. Starscream could remember the amount of hatred that filled his spark when the white shuttle defied him in an aerial dual. He cursed him with all his might when he crashed in the ice, swearing he would kill Skyfire for this humiliation._

_Anger, frustration and bitterness plagued his spark when they came back to the Decepticon base. Starscream assumed Megatron's anger was for Skyfire when the larger Decepticon grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall, hissing with blazing optics, "You're not to try and see Skyfire again, understood? He's from a past that is not yours anymore! He's an Autobot now, and the next time you cross his path you have the order to deactivate him! Is this clear?"_

_At that time, Starscream credited this reaction to the various bumps on Megatron's body, and the loss of the core crystal, everything due to Skyfire's betrayal. But years later after Megatron had demonstrated other feelings and hints of attraction, Starscream wondered if it was not jealousy toward Skyfire. A subtlety that he was far from grasping forty years ago, too thrilled by his race for power and revenge._

**To be continued... **

* * *

**References:**

(1) A definition of CO2.

(2) Equipment of an F-15, as quoted on Wikipedia.

(3) Inspired from Season 1, "More than meet the eyes", part. 1-3

(4) Inspired from Season 1, "Fire in the sky"


	4. CH4: War and Peace

I would like to thank all the readers who support this story and Maraluch for beta reading all the chapters. And to all readers of "Hunted Species": Beware, chapter 4 and chapter 5 are important for the plot!

* * *

**Chapter 4: War and Peace**

**A.D. 2025, Base number 0025 of the Earth Resistance Force**

**Medical Repair bay 32**

"The situation is really confusing. Primus! There are too many Stalkers attacking at once!"

"How many?"

"Two hundred units. Maybe more."

The voices reached Starscream, indistinct. He was exhausted and his audios were buzzing again.

"Primus! And where are our men?"

"That's difficult to say. I received a communication from Jazz a few minutes ago. He said that he saw Skyfire heading to an island and then- nothing. Galvatron and Megatron threw themselves into the battle but nobody knows their positions. Same for Optimus, Shockwave and Grimlock."

"It's really hell outside!"

Starscream shifted his head to the side and let out a sigh. His overtaxed CPU slowly processed the situation and stopped at two names. "Megatron... Skyfire," he whispered.

He smiled derisively while remembering how many times the Decepticon leader had cursed the second name after the mission to the North Pole. Yes, now that he thought back to that, Megatron had acted as if he had been jealous of Skyfire. During the few following weeks he had spewed sarcastic remarks at Starscream until it ended with cries and punches; Megatron's punches and his cries. The Decepticon Leader had become punctual and vicious in verbally arguing with his second in command, if not provoking the disputes outright. It looked as if all his frustration and attention was focused on Starscream. Fair enough. For Starscream also, Megatron crystallized all his hatred, obsessions and also fascination and desire.

The next big incident with the Tyrant occurred several months later with the addition of Doctor Archeville to the team (1). The tiny crazy human quickly suspected Megatron of double-crossing him and naturally came to discuss this with Starscream. This rapprochement did not please a very irate Megatron who had already put up with countless mockeries from his Air Commander about the on-going plan. As usual, Starscream finished that meeting with being hauled up to Megatron's eyelevel by his throat and his audios blown out by death threats. Far from falling back into line, Starscream became enraged and jumped at the chance to betray him while clearing out with Archeville. Not too far away, though, and close enough to see Megatron's spacecraft being reduced to scrap metal.

Witnessing the explosion of the spaceship was one of the strangest moments of his life as a part of him was almost overloading with the joy of Megatron's death while another part of him regretted that Megatron would never be his. This period of trouble didn't last long and his mind became quickly busy with his plot to destroy Earth and collect the energy given off by the explosion (2). The scale of the blast excited him and flattered his megalomania. He completely overlooked the concept of remorse and ignored the fate of his fellow Decepticons.

How could have he known that Megatron was still alive and was stopping the bomb with Optimus Prime? How could have he foreseen that he would end up being the primary victim of his own plan?

* * *

_Starscream managed to scramble on all fours and ran a quick scan on his systems. The report brought him the bad news that the explosion had damaged his equilibrium rectifier. It meant he would not be able to walk, let alone stand up without repairs. However the thought of being stuck in this desert frightened him less than the grating voice coming from beyond the grave which boomed in his audios. _

"_Welcome home, buffoon!" (2)_

_The Seeker looked up at his Commander with awestruck fear. "Meg…Megatron. I believed you were dead… I-" _

_Starscream squealed when Megatron picked him up by the shoulders and hauled him to his feet. The Tyrant smiled mischievously when he saw that the flyer couldn't keep his standing position by himself. _

"_Problem with your equilibrium rectifier, Starscream?" _

"_Please, don't hurt me Megatron! Please!"_

"_Me, hurt you?" chuckled the Decepticon leader. He snaked an arm around the jet's waist and lifted him as if he was a weightless object. "Why would I do that, hmm?"_

_Failing to squirm out of the grasp of the Tyrant, Starscream kept whining all the way, begging for forgiveness. Megatron replied with stark silence until he arrived at the secret laboratory of Doctor Archeville. He walked straight to a vast and dark hanger, leaning Starscream against the wall. Unsurprisingly, the Seeker failed to stand up and collapsed in a heap. From his miserable position he contemplated the massive frame of the Decepticon leader and figured how easily he could be crushed. A shiver ran through his body when the silver mech knelt in front of him, staring at him with blazing optics. _

"_Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. You already did the job for me," mocked Megatron, "I'm always amazed to see how efficient you are when it comes to ruining yourself." _

"_Megatron, I… I can explain-" _

"_No, no need. I know what you've tried to do: destroy this planet in order to collect energy. A fanciful plan which ignored some very important points. First, your fellows Decepticons would have died in the explosion. Second, you would have wasted all the energy we can suck from Earth. You're a real danger to everybody, Starscream, including the Decepticons!" _

"_Megatron… I-" _

_The large black hand of Megatron stopped his complaint and sealed his fate. _

"_You are to spend some times here. Take the opportunity to reflect on yourself and your behavior. Try to consider a way to improve your sorry character. I intend to find obedience and respect the next time I come here!" _

_The hand moved away from Starscream's lip component, freeing his ability to vocalize. However Starscream remained mute, in shock from not being beaten and the fear of staying alone in this dark place. _

"_Megatron, no! Please! Don't let me here!" he finally implored. "Take me with you!"_

_The door closed behind the silver leader who ignored his begging cries. _

_O_

_He couldn't figure how long he stayed in this hanger; his internal chronometer stopped functioning when his energy level fell below 10. It was the eighteenth day of seclusion in total darkness but his agony continued over several more days. Visions and hallucinations became more frequent as much of his body depleted its energy. The last one he remembered was his creator and his brother standing in front of him, making fun of his weak position and his uselessness. _

_Then, his systems powered down._

_He came back online with the sensation of energon running down his throat. Energy came back slowly but not enough to allow his optics to power on. He felt he was not lying horizontally but was resting against the chest of another Transformer. _

_The miraculous fountain was suddenly taken away from his hungry mouth while the voice of his leader pierced his audios. _

"_Tell me Starscream, have we learned our lesson?" Megatron calmly asked. _

"_Yes, Mega-tron. I have… learned." _

"_Very well. Who is your leader then?" _

"_You, Megatron. You are" _

"_And you, __**what**__ are you?" _

"_I am... your subordinate… and I owe you… respect… and…faith," recited Starscream, remembering the sermon each new comer joining the Decepticon War Academy had to proclaim to Megatron. _

"_Excellent! Now drink. You need to replenish your energy reserves. We are far away from the base," replied Megatron, satisfied. _

_The energon cube pressed against Starscream's lips but he pushed it back._

"_No, wait! I can't go back there," he stuttered, panicked. He clawed blindly at Megatron, pressing his head against the robust chest that had never seemed quite so protective until now. "They're going to kill me! My wingmates… The other Decepticons… They-"_

"_They won't do anything because they won't know."_

"_But Shockwave, he knows every-"_

"_Nothing. He will keep his vocalizer shut," replied Megatron, wrapping an arm around Starscream to readjust his position on his lap. "On the condition you promise me something," he added._

"_What… What is it?" _

"_Don't betray me again," Megatron whispered. "Stop your miserable attempts to overthrow me and stay by my side as the faithful Seeker you should have never stopped being."_

_The request of Megatron echoed in his processor and no rebellious thoughts emerged to push it back. Exhausted, Starscream set his head against the cool metal of Megatron's shoulder and swore his allegiance._

"_I will, __**my lord,**__" he whispered. "I will do everything you want. Please, save me."_

"_Then… drink. I will carry you back to the base. It's going to take six hours. This energon cube should be enough to keep you online until we come back." _

"_Thank… you… Megatron."_

_O_

_During the six hours that the aerial travel lasted, they didn't exchange a word. Cradled in the arms of his leader, Starscream kept his optics shut and listened to the internal systems of the mech holding him. Although his pride was deeply hurt, he could find some satisfaction to this epilogue. After all, his rebellion had led to the place he would have never reached with faithful behavior: Megatron's arms._

_At their arrival, Starscream had the surprise of seeing Thundercracker and Skywarp waiting the return of the Decepticon leader on the main bridge. _

"_Lord Megatron! So it is true! You found Starscream!" exclaimed Thundercracker, "Where was he? What had happened to him?" _

"_I guess he crashed quite a long time ago, in the desert, near the Archeville facilities. I was sure he would have tried to find the hidden laboratory," explained Megatron, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Are the Constructicons ready to work on him?" _

"_Yes! We informed them as soon as you cut the COM' link," asserted Skywarp._

"_Excellent! Take him and bring him to the repair bay! Be careful, he is low in energy and cannot walk." _

"_You can count on us!" assured the two Seekers. _

_Starscream showed no reaction when the hands of his wingmates replace those of his Commander. _

"_I think that in the future, you will have to change your behavior. You would be dead now if Megatron hadn't found you!" Thundercracker murmured in his audios._

_Lost somewhere between nothingness and shame, Starscream powered off his system._

* * *

Starscream adopted a low profile during the first few weeks after this incident and kept his vocal processor relatively shut. But slowly, insidiously, his lust for power and addiction for bickering with Megatron got the better of him, putting in the foreground his initial desire for revenge. Disputes with the Tyrant were like a drug for him; it made his energon run so quickly and exquisitely in his pipes. Having Megatron's canon in his face was the precise moment when Life took on a new meaning for him. He threw his tantrums at the most opportunistic moments and relished when Megatron graced his face or torso with his fist. 

"Primus, they were right when they said I was masochistic," he murmured, remembering his eagerness to find the right insults that would bring Megatron's hands around his throat on a daily basis. The sickening game could have lasted forever and a day if the Decepticon army hadn't gotten a new recruit: Nightbird. It led him very close to disaster...

* * *

_Since the arrival of Nightbird, Starscream stayed pissed off. True to his habits, Megatron showed a particular interest in the femme, praising horrendously this feeble-brained creature. The way he raised her to the rank of favorite drove him completely mad. The crisis reached a climax when Megatron threatened to replace him with Nightbird and imprisoned him with an electro-magnetic cell, leaving him alone in the base to rescue the "metal bitch." Starscream quickly found a way to sneak out of the base and join the battle. He had no hesitation; the ninja robot was taking away his position in the Decepticon Army. She was stealing Megatron's attention. His life. Fortunately, a single null-ray blast was enough to put the ninja out of commission. The thrilling sensation of removing a potential threat pushed his CPU to the edge of ecstasy. _

"_And say good night to your Megatron! Ah! Ah! Ah!" (3)_

_Yes! That had been so nice to shriek this to the limp metal bitch lying in Prime's arms and show Megatron he wouldn't accept being disowned. Once his jealousy was quenched he took off with his fellow Decepticons and a furious Megatron on his tail. He eventually lost them far behind thanks to his excellent flying capabilities. Nevertheless, three days later, frantic wandering had sucked dry his energy reserves and he had to return to the base. He was expecting to receive a punishment, the regular fair. Maybe the equivalent to the punishment after his collaboration with Doctor Archeville, although he doubted Megatron would be ready to travel six hours to lock him up in a hanger and starve him to death for a month. _

_Unfortunately for him, he had underestimated the crazed ire of his leader.__The Decepticon Commander ordered his subordinates to gather into a meeting room. He drew Starscream there, unwilling to say a word to answer the questions or pleadings of his second in command. He pushed Starscream up on a platform and stood there, keeping a strong hold on his Air Commander. It took a few minutes for the Decepticons to gather. The Constructicons formed a line and Thundercracker, Skywarp and the two triple changers stood behind. Soundwave's cassettes stood in front of the Constructicons while Soundwave leaned against a wall off to the side._

"_My fellow Decepticons," Megatron sternly stated, covering his audience with a tragic expression in his optics, "I asked you to gather here because I must unveil to you a terrible truth. I had once decided to keep silent on this situation but I think the crisis has reached a critical stage."_

_Starscream looked at his leader with panicked optics, very well aware of what Megatron wanted to speak about._

"_Oh no. Megatron. Please. Don't do that!" he exclaimed, falling to his knees. Ignoring the disgusted look of the other Decepticons, he grabbed a silver leg and clung to it as if it was his last hope. "No, no! NO, don't! Megatron, I'm begging-"_

_Megatron glared at him with annoyance and sent him rolling on the floor with a kick. Starscream fell to his side and remained sitting, trembling and panicky. His gaze crossed the look of his wingmates, who were obviously surprised by the way he was humiliating himself so quickly and in such a dirty fashion._

"_Right after the destruction of my spaceship and during the lapse of time there were some doubt about my survival, Starscream reached Cybertron with Doctor Archeville on board. Prior to his flight, he had set up a bomb within the Archeville facility which was supposed to completely destroy Earth. The energy created by the explosion would have been collected on Cybertron."_

_Silence fell when Megatron paused and all optics searched the huddled up form of the Air Commander._

"_I… I didn't know," lamely stuttered Starscream, "I… I didn't know you were alive and still stationed on Earth."_

_New silence as deadly as the grave enveloped the audience while the expressions on the metal faces became more and more harsh. _

"_Were you going to check and see if we were still alive, Starscream?" inquired Thundercracker, gritting his teeth._

_The look in the optics of his wingmates showed so much hurt that the Seeker couldn't find the strength to lie to them. He lowered his head, consumed by shame._

"_I can't believe this!" exploded Thundercracker. "You didn't check! You would have killed us all without a second thought!"_

_Shaking his head with disbelief while cursing in Cybertronian against Starscream, he turned his heels and strode to the exit. Nobody really took notice of him leaving as all the other Decepticons were glaring hatefully at the guilty flyer._

_Skywarp suddenly broke the line and approached the platform. "Look at me!" he shrieked, glaring at Starscream. "And tell me he's wrong! Tell me you didn't try to kill us!"_

_The Seeker looked up slowly. "I'm so sorry, Skywarp. I was confused," he replied pleadingly. "I don't know what I was thinking about. I was-"_

_His words were cut sharp when Skywarp jumped on the platform and backhanded him so strongly than he fell on his side._

"_SHUT UP!" yelled Skywarp, "Shut up, you monster! I don't want to hear you anymore!"_

"_Skywarp!" interrupted Megatron._

"_My Lord, allow me to leave this place," replied the black Seeker, "I've heard enough."_

"_Granted."_

_Skywarp threw a last glance to Starscream and vanished. Tears started to flow down the cheeks of the Seeker, as he understood that things would never be the same with his wing mates._

"_Megatron! Why haven't you told us before!" growled Hook. "We have the right to know we had such a dangerous threat among us!"_

"_Yeah! We had the right to know this traitor tried to kill us all!" complained Rumble, pointing at Starscream, "He's a danger to us. We have the right to protect ourselves!"_

_Megatron beckoned them to keep silent._

"_I decided to tell you nothing in order to preserve the unity of the Decepticon Army. Besides, Starscream had atoned for his crime and promised me to be loyal in the future. Unfortunately, it was just a new lie from this felon and I think it's time for him to learn the consequence of his actions," he declared. "But this time, I leave him to the popular justice."_

_Starscream could hear metal joints creaking as fists clenched, echoing to the footsteps of Megatron who walked down the stairs._

"_My fellow Decepticons," Megatron added, "I leave this traitor to__** your**__ justice!"_

_The ranks broke to allow him to leave. Starscream watched with an incredible fear the silver back moving further and further away and suddenly processed he was in danger of termination._

"_Megatron, please! Take me with you!" he shrieked, jumping off of the platform to land among the other Decepticons. "Don't leave me here! Please Mega-"_

_He was suddenly thrown back so hard that he bumped against the platform and fell on the floor. By the time he chased away the slight dizziness, Astrotrain was on him and Megatron, completely out of sight. The triple changer grabbed him by an arm and lifted him to his feet._

"_Get your hands of me, you idiot!" shrieked Starscream. "You were not even there when it happened!"_

_His head slammed backward when Astrotrain delivered him a punch on the side of the helmet._

"_No. But I can feel the disgust of the other Decepticons," he heard Astrotrain reply. "And I share it."_

"_Yeah, we're taking you out of commission, you psycho!" added Blitzwing, gripping his other arm._

"_Hey, big guys! Stop babbling!" screeched Frenzy, "Bring him to us. We want our piece of Justice!"_

"_As you wish! But first…"_

_Astrotrain and Blitzwing pulled hard on his null-rays, breaking the latches and wires that kept them hooked to his shoulders. Starscream howled with pain and collapsed to a heap. One of his two torturers kicked him in the back and he fell forward, head first. His audios starting to ring and the first failure reports flooded his CPU. He scrambled to his hands and knees when an incredible pain sizzled in his right wing and paralyzed him. He spit up some energon and kept trembling while the victorious voice of Frenzy reached his audios._

"_Mwah! My piledrivers are the best!" he giggled, "Gonna do the same with that loud-mouth Skywarp!"_

"_Out of my way, microbe!" growled one of the Constructicons that Starscream couldn't identify, "Wanna see something efficient against Seeker's wings?"_

_The same pain radiated from his left wing when three sharpened objects pierced the metal. Starscream shrieked as loud as his overtaxed vocal processor allowed him and spit more energon. A punch in his back tore from him another cry and his canopy shattered. His motor systems went haywire and his audio processor gave up. Something dug again in his injured right wing; the overload of data caused by the pain flooded his processor and he lost consciousness._

O

_Starscream awoke with pain devouring his whole body. When it decreased enough to allow normal processes in his CPU, he inquired with his monitoring system to check the damage. The request came in the form of an alarmingly long list of smashed panels, broken joints, cut fuel lines and various liquid leakages. He tried to move but his whole frame refused to obey and punished him by flooding him with a new wave of pain that tore an agonizing moan from his vocalizer. He lost consciousness again and remained in the safety of unconsciousness for a certain unknown period of time. He came back to the world of pain when a hand set on his lower back and below his knees. Somebody raised him from the ground rather gently, but not delicately enough. Starscream mumbled his pain in incoherent words and almost blacked-out again. _

_When the painful sensation ebbed a little and allowed him to formulate some thoughts, he tried to identify his "rescuer." He immediately discarded the Constructicons as the Transformer holding him was certainly taller than the six short green bots. Astrotrain or Blitzwing? The two were certainly not known for their altruism and had been so obviously happy to use him as a punching bag. Soundwave? The third in command despised him as much as he despised the Communication Officer. Megatron was also out as the Tyrant would certainly finish him off rather than help him. Only two possibilities were left: Skywarp or Thundercracker. Shame squashed his spark as he recalled the devastated look of his two wing mates when his treachery had been revealed. Especially Skywarp. Starscream doubted that the petulant Seeker had overcome his anger and disappointment. Only Thundercracker could have. But why was he hiding the frequency of his energy field?_

_Several minutes passed and then he was laid down on the metal of a repair berth. The mysterious Transformer keeping silent, Starscream did his best to ignore the pain in his bleeding limbs and raised a shaking right arm. _

"_Is it you, Thundercracker?" he whispered, tracing the face plate with his fingertips. "Why aren't you talking to me?" He gave a frightened cry when his touch revealed angular features. "No! Not you!" he cried, powering on his optics in panic, "What are you doing here? Admiring your handiwork?" _

_Megatron crooked an amused smile, "What are you talking about, Starscream? I did nothing… I didn't even hit you." he replied calmly. _

"_You made the others beat me!" _

"_No, Starscream, you made them beat you," retorted the warlord. He leaned over him and peered at Starscream's optics with a harsh expression, "You broke our deal."_

_The Seeker stared at him, dumbfounded. How could he reject the responsibility of this lynching on him? __**He**__ was the victim here- not Megatron!_

"_Don't play games with me, you disgusting manipulator! You knew they would react like that and they almost killed me!" groaned Starscream, spitting energon with the effort._

_Megatron sighed and leaned a little further over the battered shell. "You betrayed me again and you deserved punishment," he stated, his optics not leaving the Seeker's face. "Besides, your fellow Decepticons have the right to know how important they are to you."_

"_Betrayed you!" shrieked the Seeker, "How dare you call betrayal shooting that sorry excuse of a mechanism! That disgusting-"_

"_Do you realize that Nightbird was supposed to blast Optimus Prime into pieces when you shot her in the back? Yes, my dear Starscream," Megatron said with a kind of bitterness in the voice, "You always proclaim that you are "the pride of the Decepticon army," but as little as three days ago, you were nothing else but the shame of the Decepticons, little fool!" _

"_That's a lie! I'm faithful to the cause!" exclaimed Starscream, slamming his broken arm against the berth. He howled in pain when his injured limb reminded him that his body was broken, which amused Megatron. His chuckles hurt Starscream's pride and a tear of shame fell from his optics._

"_Depriving the Decepticons of a new powerful recruit, you call this being faithful to the cause!?" spat back Megatron._

"_A new powerful recruit? You liar!" roared Starscream, pushing back Megatron with a bleeding hand. "A recruit or a toy? That pleasure-thing you would have in your berth? You're confusing Decepticon interests with your own interests!"_

_Megatron leaned back and devilishly smiled. "Yes! Let's talk about that confusion, Starscream. You're pretty good at that, after all!"_

_Starscream felt he was on the edge of a precarious cliff, close to an abyss that would swallow him. _

"_I don't know what you are talking about!" he retorted._

"_You got rid of Nightbird just because she displeased you, or should I say, because I appreciated her too much. You shot her in the back without regard to the benefits she could bring to the Decepticons. You did it to get rid of a rival. Try to deny it!"_

"_You wanted to replace me with that femme bot, without regard to __**my**__ contributions to the army. I couldn't let you do that; __**I**__ am your Air-Commander. No one other than me deserves this position!" Starscream shrieked, furious. "You played with me; you did it purposely to drive me mad! Try to deny it!"_

"_I see you finally got to the bottom of it. Yes, I did it purposely and provoked you. I wanted to see if you could keep your energon cool and act like a "Commander" instead of a spoiled sparkling. Prove to me that you were strong enough in your mind to take it and react as a worthy second in command! But you failed from the beginning an acted like a young femme in front of a rival. You're not able to be impartial: your jealousy, paranoia, and uncertainty… all those feelings blind you, and they all come before the Decepticon cause especially where I am concerned."_

_Starscream wanted to retort something, but was too troubled by this latest predicament to find words. Megatron was ferreting out his real motivations and it increased the feeling of guilt in his spark. Perplexed about what he should say, he let his mind wander in conjectures until a hand brushed his waist. He gasped when Megatron, leaning on his left arm, touched his forehead with a Cybertronian sponge to wipe the energon bleeding from a wound. Their energy fields collided and the distance between their chests reduced to nothing, Starscream felt his spark jumping in his casing and his mind crashing. _

"_If- If I am so unworthy of your trust," he stuttered, "why don't you leave me alone?"_

_The red optics reduced to a slit as they crossed the troubled gaze of the Seeker. "You're wrong. I don't consider you unworthy as much as treacherous and unstable. Besides," he said, brushing Starscream's cheek with the sponge, "The Constructicons refuse to tend to your wounds."_

"_Then… why don't you let me die in this sordid place? You would get rid of a thorn in your side."_

_Megatron chuckled and withdrew the sponge from Starscream's face. He rinsed it and then set it back on the wound on Starscream's forehead. _

"_You know, I think you misunderstood my intentions toward you, Starscream. You don't seem to know what you want neither," he said, skillfully moving the sponge against the swollen alloy. "You see me as an enemy, a target to shoot down. You insult me and betray me whenever you can, but at the same time," his words trailed off while his hand followed the dark line of his cheek, "You do your best to make sure you attract my attention, even if it leads you to a painful punishment," he added, bringing the sponge to Starscream scratched lip components. "I wonder if you don't nurse a kind of obsession toward me. If all your provocations aren't just twisted attempts to have my hands upon your frame," Megatron concluded._

_Starscream shivered fiercely and his energy field flared despite his will in response to those words. _

"_Don't you think it's time for you to tell the truth, Starscream?" Megatron whispered, lowering his face closer to his. _

* * *

A new explosion… He heard a welding machine escape from the surface of a table and roll onto the flour with a cling-cling. Nobody tried to stop it. The three robots had returned to a calm demeanor, trying to work on their patients but they couldn't help but raise their head when a new explosion against the metallic shell of the base shook the whole place. Starscream wondered if it was a missile crashing against the external panel or a robot sent to death by an opponent. He shivered at the idea and hoped that it had not been a Transformer. At least, not a Decepticon. Not Megatron… 

For any onlooker, it would have seemed a strange thought coming from a mech who had dedicated a great part of his life to backstabbing his Commander. Starscream himself couldn't find a clear explanation to his ambiguous way of thinking. He remembered he had been so taken aback when Megatron asked him to show his true colors. And to his greatest shame, he couldn't remember his own answer.

* * *

_Pain brought him back to consciousness. Megatron was not leaning over him and the sight of Hook and Bonecrusher replaced the silver faceplate. He could still hear the voice of Megatron asking THE question; "Don't you think it's time for you to tell the truth, Starscream?" but he couldn't find a trace of what had happened after. He searched on his CPU but it was just as if this moment had never happened or had been erased from his memory._

"_Oh! The traitor is awake!" chuckled Bonecrusher._

"_What… what happened?"_

"_Don't remember?" Hook grinned. He exchanged a look with Bonecrusher and the two burst into a horrible laughter, "I guess Megatron had a lot of fun with you!"_

"_What?"_

_Once again, Starscream tried to find a record on what had happened after Megatron had asked him the question. Nothing came out from the depth of his memory apart from the report that his most recent memory file was corrupted._

"_What happened?" he asked again._

"_Don't know. Megatron stopped us when we were going to kill you and ordered us to leave you with him. After a few hours, he came back, bringing you," replied Hook. He lowered his faced, "Eh, Eh, he was covered with energon… your energon," he giggled._

_Starscream shivered in retrospective fear. This explained the corrupted file. He would have certainly deleted the memory to avoid remembering horrible torture from the Tyrant. Megatron had quenched his desire for revenge on his battered body. Starscream felt a wave of hatred submerge him before he had a second thought and checked in panic to see if he had been physically abused. His system reported that no interface had been initiated which left him with a strange feeling. It was rage and relief at the same time, a twisted feeling that soon made his CPU burn. The repairs of the Constructicons, performed without care, didn't help. He didn't wish to ask himself any further questions and went offline. _

* * *

Starscream grimaced as he remembered what happened afterward. Megatron strictly ordered that he remained locked in his quarters until he was granted the right to participate in new operations. Skywarp and Thundercracker didn't show up and when he tried to join them on their COM'link, his call was routed to Soundwave. The Communication Officer dryly explained to him that new flyers – Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet – would be arriving from Cybertron to be assigned as his wingmates according to the two Seekers' requests. It broke his spark although he had to recognize he had deserved it. Starscream was starting to despair with the lack of contact and action when the surveillance system set off an alarm and showed the aerial snapshots of a crevasse with enough energy to refuel a good third of Cybertron. 

Megatron ordered a scout mission, composed of him, Soundwave… and Starscream. The Air Commander would have rejoiced with this kind of reinstatement if this loss of memories didn't keep torturing him. What had happened during those lost hours with Megatron?

* * *

_(4) Megatron, Soundwave and himself landed near the crevasse. Listening with little interest to the explanations about this source of energy, churned on in the monotone and annoying tone of Soundwave, Starscream finally decided to take the lead. And he needed to do something to distract himself from thinking too much._

"_Then let's go to its core, and suck its power dry!" he declared._

_Puffing his chest like a peacock, Starscream walked with a fake self-assurance to the glowing rift. However, he had to stop when a strong grip clawed at his forearm and the grating voice of his leader warned him. _

"_It's me who gives the order here, Starscream!" Megatron threatened, his grip becoming rapidly painful. "The energy could be dangerously unstable… Soundwave!" _

_Without releasing his grasp on Starscream, Megatron ordered the cassette deck to launch the auto scout to the crevasse. Starscream felt a tingle when he heard the detonation of the small robot which exploded in a rain of steel. Only then did Megatron release his forearm, pushing him back, away from the deadly source of energy. _

"_Colomnium crystals… The most rare and destructive source of energy in this solar system!" _

"_I've never heard of these colomnium crystals," replied Starscream, walking carefully to the edge of the cliff. _

"_It's that kind of ignorance that forever relegates you to the rank of an underling, Starscream! I warn you, stay well back!" _

_The way the Decepticon Leader looked at him sent a shiver through his transistors; this time, he didn't dare complain and decided to obey. _

O

_To his surprise, Megatron didn't allow him to join the other Decepticons on the battlefield and he had to stay by his side. Megatron instead sent a replica of Starscream battling against a replica of Optimus Prime and seemed to more enjoy the wreck caused by his puppets than really trying to kill the Autobots. Starscream managed to hide his anger until the end of the mission but back at the base he threw a good tantrum of his own. Megatron laughed and walked slowly to him with a surprisingly soft look._

"_Why are you complaining? You haven't been hurt in this mission. The only time you've been shot, it's when Lazerbeak had to bring you back to me after you tried to flee like a coward. I told you, Starscream, being by my side is the best thing you can choose," he said, now stepping so close to Starscream that their energy fields were merged. "__I kept my promise. It's time for you to prove your good will."_

_As usual when Megatron was so close to him and was peering at his optics with a flaming gaze, Starscream's wires and circuits starting to melt. His spark tingled in his chamber and reason left his CPU. He looked up, breathless, and allowed himself to be drawn into the fiery optics of his Commander. Strange sensations ran over his skin, as an anticipation of sinful caresses, rough attention and passionate kisses._

"_Starscream?"_

"_Ye-yes, Megatron?" he whispered. _

_His legs buckled when Megatron brushed his chin._

"_Now, you can tell me what that secret is which frightens you so much," the larger mech purred. _

_A new shiver, of pure fear this time, ran through him. 'Oh, Primus! What did I say when we were alone? Did I mention the disk?' he wondered. True to his twisted way of thinking, he concluded that he was close to his end if Megatron discovered he knew the identity of Shootingstar's murderer. There was only one solution left to get out of this._

"_There is no secret, Oh Mighty One," he replied with a forced grin, "I lied last time. I lied because it was the quickest way to have you leave me alone."_

_He didn't expect his declaration to have such a strong effect on Megatron. The Decepticon Leader couldn't hide his shock and his expression turned to a surprising mask of pain and desperation._

"_Bitch!"_

"_What?"_

"_You're just a bitch!" shrieked Megatron, slamming his fist on Starscream faceplate. The Seeker collapsed into a heap with a cry. "Please, don't-" he pleaded, protecting his head with his arms.._

"_You're a whore who would deserve no better than the dirtiest brothel of Kaon!" Megatron hissed, ready to beat him again. He lowered his hand however, and looked at his prey with pure disgust. "Out of my sight, bitch!"_

_Starscream didn't understand why Megatron insulted him that way but arguing at this point would just be inappropriate. He ran away, begging Primus to not let Megatron didn't shot him in the back._

* * *

"Primus, what had happened that time? After the Nightbird incident, what did I tell him?" he whispered. "What did I tell him?" 

Finding no answer in the shadows of the dark ceiling, he decided to repeat the experience he had tried so many times before without success. He searched the corrupted file of the memory and tried to open it. For an unknown reason, the usual message saying that the file couldn't be read was replaced by a warning saying the encryption would take time. Finally, after a few seconds the movie started to play on his memory.

* * *

_Starscream shivered fiercely and his energy field flared despite his will in response to those words. _

"_Don't you think it's time for you to tell the truth, Starscream?" Megatron whispered, lowering his face closer to his. _

_The young Seeker moaned as he felt the fiery energy field wrapping around him. "What… truth?"_

_Megatron lowered his face a bit more, and this time his lips brushed against Starscream's._

"_The truth you bury deep in your spark and hide behind foolish acts of bravado and treachery. You can't fool me forever."_

_Without awaiting his reaction, Megatron sealed their lips in a light kiss. Starscream's surprise and weak protest died under the delicate sensation of this curious glossa tracing his lips, gently and softly, begging for more intimacy._

**To be continued…**

* * *

References: 

1 Inspired from "The ultimate Doom", G1 Season 1.

2 Inspired from "Countdown to Extinction", G1, Season 1.

3 From "Enter the Nightbird"

4 From "A Prime Problem"


	5. CH5: The Hidden Truth

**Chapter 5: The Hidden Truth**

**A.D. 2025, Base number 0025 of the Earth Resistance Force - Medical Repair bay 32**

_Starscream shivered fiercely and his energy field flared despite his will in response to those words. _

"_Don't you think it's time for you to tell the truth, Starscream?" Megatron whispered, lowering his face closer to his. _

_The young Seeker moaned as he felt the fiery energy field wrapping around him. "What… truth?"_

_Megatron lowered his face a bit more, and this time his lips brushed against Starscream's._

"_The truth you bury deep in your spark and hide behind foolish acts of bravado and treachery. You can't fool me forever."_

_Without awaiting his reaction, Megatron sealed their lips in a light kiss. Starscream's surprise and weak protest died under the delicate sensation of this curious glossa tracing his lips, gently and softly begging for more intimacy._

* * *

_Swissh!_

The movie stopped and the message "Unable to read the file. Corruption detected," appeared.

"No, no! Not now!" whined Starscream, "I want to remember!"

His new attempts to read the file led to the same message as if an invisible firewall prevented access to this precious memory. His processor started to heat and he had to stop his desperate efforts to remember. This glimpse of the memory was enough for him to guess the meaning of Megatron's reaction after the Colomnium crystal adventure. He was certainly expecting Starscream to behave more graciously and not to slap him in the face. Despite his throbbing CPU, he tried to remember what had happened after this incident.

It took a whole month for Megatron to come up with a new Machiavellian plan to collect energy from Earth and until he ordered the launch of the new operations, Starscream hid away in his quarters. Two times he stumbled into his Commander and thought he would be executed on the spot. To his surprise, Megatron's behaviour changed completely from the beginning of the operation. While the Constructicons were busy drilling to the Earth core (1), Megatron was busy re-establishing communication with his second in command.

Megatron didn't give him an inch of personal space and made efforts to explain his plans. Starscream was quite taken aback when he leaned over him and casually set a hand on his shoulder vent, listening quietly at his objections regarding the Earth's core. He didn't even get angry when Starscream's couldn't hold back his insults. Everything was going fine until Devastator, gone haywire, sent Starscream flying against a rock. The shock was rude and followed by immediate darkness.

* * *

_He woke up some times later, once again with a splitting headache, the ceiling of a repair bay greeting him and Megatron at his side. _

"_What happened?" he asked warily._

"_You were knocked unconscious after slamming against a rock," replied Megatron, moving closer. "I brought you here. The Constructicons will check your wounds after Soundwave makes sure you are back to normal."_

"_You brought me here?" repeated Starscream, patting his forehead. "Oh, really?"_

"_Yes, I did," murmured Megatron, leaning over him. He peered at his optics, "Again, I kept my promise," he softly added, "and you're not reciprocating. You still haven't told me what's going on inside your messed up CPU."_

_The pain in his throbbing processor was too piercing to allow Starscream to think correctly and the only thing he wanted was the end to this discussion. "Oh, yes. You kept your promise of being the most stupid tyrant of the galaxy!" he retorted tiredly. "You must have a serious glitch to imagine such loser's plans and you're definitely lucky to have an army of losers to follow you!"_

_Starscream knew what to expect when he saw Megatron's expression dim. He tried to protect his own face with his hands but not enough to prevent the punch breaking his lower jaw. He fell onto the floor and let out a cry when Megatron kicked him in the stomach. Starscream managed to curl into a ball, expecting more punches and kicks but to his relief, he heard the footsteps of Megatron leaving him._

"_My only failure is to let you live, bitch!" the Tyrant spat before exiting. _

_Starscream didn't understand what he meant but didn't bother to ask the meaning of this riddle. Once again reduced to a heap of scrapped metal, he decided he would wait on the floor for the Constructicons to repair him._

O

_This incident left him grounded on his berth for a couple of days. Once repaired and refuelled he came back to the Command room with an addiction for bickering at an all time high, powered by a revived desire for revenge. And he was not short-changed. Slaps on his face, punches on his helmet, kicks on his stomach, mirrored in their intensity by his hot sarcasm. Yes, the sickening game was on again although it seemed that Megatron took it more personally than before._

_Their bickering took a strange turn at the place called Stonehenge after he had been swallowed in the past of the area (2). Already frightened by the sight of the giant lizard guarding the passage and spitting fire, he stopped thinking when he saw the laser beams of Megatron's fusion canon welcoming his return to modern times. He leapt at his leader with no hesitation, landing flat on him, hips against hips, canopy against silver chest and face almost brushing face. Their gazes locked in shock. As strange as it could be, Starscream had the feeling it was the not the first time._

"_Megatron, don't fire. It's me… Starscream!" he breathed, more and more aware by the second of his intimate position on top of his leader. Treacherous as usual when he was so close to Megatron, his body totally relaxed while his hand slid on Megatron's nape and his hips rested more comfortably against his codpiece. Time seemed to stop for him until Megatron propelled him backward. The warlord stood up, roaring like a wounded lion._

"_Starscream, you idiot. You ruined my shot!"_

"_But… Megatron," stuttered the flyer, "Aren't you glad to see us?"_

_A furious roar answered him while Megatron seemed to be suddenly deprived of the capacity to pronounce distinctive words. Trembling with rage, he stepped toward Starscream with the obvious intention to beat him. Starscream stepped back but was not quick enough to avoid the fist aimed at his face. He fell to the ground with a cry of surprise and pain._

"_What do you think, bitch? You can send me packing and when it pleases you, jump on me again?!" Megatron yelled, "What game do you think you're playing with me, little whore!"_

_As an answer, Starscream tried to flee grovelling on the sand. His finger dug in the rocky ground and left tracks when Megatron grabbed his ankle and pulled him forcefully to him. _

"_Hughhh! I did nothing!" he squealed when Megatron's thighs imprisoned his hips and pinned on the spot. "Please!" _

"_I should end this here and now!" groaned Megatron, "Stop your lies forever!" he added darkly. He set his fusion canon against his canopy, sending Starscream to the edge of terror._

"_No! Megatron! Pleeease!" he screamed. A shot in the face was sometimes repairable but in the spark, it was lethal. "I'm begging you! Spare me!"_

_Megatron's optics flashed strangely. He raised his weapon and fired at rocks on the cliff a few meters away. "Go away before I changed my mind, bitch!" he growled, as he regained some self-control._

_Starscream ignored the insult and crawled lamely in the dust to get away from Megatron, who remained on his knees. He changed to his jet mode and flew away as quick as he could while Megatron vented his sudden and inexplicable ire against the cliff._

O

_When Megatron came back to the base, there was no trace of anger on his face and he spoke to no one. He didn't even give a single look to Soundwave and walked to his quarters, which he kept locked for several days. All the Decepticons - including Starscream – believed that he was pondering his defeat. The Seeker himself attributed the enigmatic outburst to defeat and once Megatron decided to leave his quarters, he carefully followed his position in order to avoid crossing his path. The hide and seek game didn't last long as Megatron called his troops for new missions. _

_Once again acting strangely, Megatron affected pure disdain toward him, calling him "Seeker" rather than by his name, "buffoon" and other nice words. __Starscream managed to keep his energon cool although he wanted dearly to shut his leader up. But Megatron's reaction had been totally off at Stonehenge and despite his love for bickering; Starscream was not willing to see him in such a murderous fury. _

* * *

Starscream tried to remember what he had seen in Megatron's optics when he had set his canon against his canopy: furor. Anger, powered by a deep desperation. He hadn't noticed it twenty years ago, but now that he replayed the movie file, he could see those feelings very clearly. And now that he remembered that they had once kissed, it was pretty obvious for him that Megatron had been affected by a disappointment in love. 

"Primus, is it possible that I once got what I have always dreamt of? Megatron's affection, if not more… and just screw it up?" he murmured.

His spark hurt at the mere thought and he felt he was crying. _'How could I have seen nothing and why didn't I ask him what had happened between us?'_ he wondered in despair. _'How could I have been so stupid!'_

As a way of answering, a new sequence of his past started to play in his memory.

* * *

_He had the misfortune to show his enthusiasm for a raid combined with bombings of Autobots positions near the Ark, effectively pillaging the nearest power plant right under Optimus Prime's nose - if the Autobot leader had a nose. Megatron, obviously pleased by this reaction, took his own pleasure by humiliating him._

_"I know you admire my genius, Starscream, but try not falling into my arms like back at Stonehenge. Such displays of affection from you are always… displeasing."_

_For a reason he couldn't process at that time, Starscream took it bad, very bad. Wings quivering with anger, he stood in front of Megatron, putting together his best insults in a caustic medley. _

_"Falling into your arms? Me? My afterburners! I just leaped at you to stop you from shooting us, you old moron!" he shrieked, then shifting to a low and evil tone, "And anyway, who would want to be in the arms of an old decrepit rust can like you, hmm?" he added, "Certainly not a young and perfect mechanism like myself!"_

_The smirk grew evil as Megatron's optics glowed weirdly._

_"Out of my sight, little brat! You'd better come back victorious!" he growled._

_"Sit on your throne and admire the future leader of the Decepticons in action!" purred Starscream malevolently._

O

_Megatron didn't punish him for those insults or his contemptuous behavior when he came back from the raid, the bunkers of his fellow flyers full with energon cubes. No, Megatron presented him with "the bill" few days later._

O

_Megatron was completely submerged in a new plan to recover an old device from the wreck of a Cybertronian vessel, crashed on Earth millions year before. Dirge had been in charge of carrying the precious things but ended up taking a nosedive in the swamp, in Hollywood (3). Of course, Starscream took malicious pleasure in mocking this new idea. Megatron reacted more violently than ever, using him as a punching bag. After being thrown in the air countless times, Starscream decided it was safer to stay on "no sarcasm mode" and executed the orders. He followed Megatron without arguing and was appointed as team leader for the destruction of the records of Dirge's rescue._

_Forgetting Megatron's anger, Starscream supervised the retrieving of the film distractedly. He kept a close optic on the humans and their recordings. After almost two years on the blue mud ball, Starscream was starting to get interested in this inferior race – with a very scientific perspective, of course. Earthlings were disgusting organic creatures - especially after being squashed - but their primitive activities, languages, societies and technologies were very interesting to study. Even with all his observations, he couldn't understand why the records he brought back created such an uproar. Megatron didn't even let him stutter excuses and tore out of his cockpit a vital power supply device. Starscream collapsed in a heap and lay on the ground, unable to speak, move or beg for assistance. Megatron relayed orders to his troops and left without looking back._

_Starscream lay there for hours on end. He lost count. He could hear laser shots, human and Cybertronian cries, then the familiar noise of jet engines retreating and realized that he had been left behind. He hadn't panicked until then, almost sure that Megatron or another Decepticon would take him and carry him back to base. But nobody came. After plane engines, it was the turn of truck and car engines to die away as the Autobots left the studios. Night came and the humming of the earthling machineries stopped, leaving him in complete darkness and silence, like a broken doll abandoned by his owner. What would happen to him, after sunrise? A human would come, find him and alert the Autobots. He would end up as a prisoner at the Ark for a very long time as Megatron would certainly not negotiate for his freedom._

_He was on the verge of crying - one of the rare motor activity that was left to him - when a massive shape stood in front of him. He recognized the energy signature and while he cursed the name of the sentient creature he was also thankful for his return. Megatron hauled him to his feet and pressed him against his chest, an arm snaked tightly around his waist._

_"Here you are, once again in my arms. I know a Seeker who would call you "masochistic" for that!" he scoffed._

_Powering up his antigravity system, Megatron took off, pulverizing the roof of the studio. Back at the base, he threw Starscream on the ground and disdainfully ordered the Constructicons to repair him. Even more strongly than before, Starscream felt Megatron considered him as a thing. HIS thing. How dared he? _

_Once again, he decided to be on the warpath. Seriously._

* * *

"Primus, what did I promise him to make him act in such a way?" he murmured, "What else than my… love?" he whispered to himself. A tear ran down his cheek. "Primus, if that's the case… Why can't I remember it?" 

Nobody answered him and the story of his past went on, opening on a scene in which he was yelling after Megatron. The date was uncertain, as during the few following weeks Starscream made a point to try and derail Megatron's plans and relentlessly attacked him, verbally and physically. Pausing, he finally remembered what the scene was about. How could he forget this one? The last serious clash between the two started with a simple bickering about Shockwave and ended up with Starscream regaining consciousness on a desert island of Guadalcanal (4). Fuming with this humiliation, Starscream quickly devised a new plan to take leadership away from Megatron and built his own army; the Combaticons.

A perfect example of plans backfiring on him; Starscream had to lie to the five renegades to keep them under his control until they were defeated by Menasaur. Strangely lenient, Megatron exiled Starscream and his newly created Combaticons and did not even attempt to hurt him. Nevertheless, far from being ready to apologize and negotiate a possible return among the Decepticon ranks, Starscream took advantages of the considerable disorder produced by the Combaticons on Cybertron, to take a new chance at destroying Megatron (5). He eventually found himself prisoner of coalition Decepticons – Autobots, with the only alternative to be crushed under the feet of Bruticus. Cornered, with the fusion canon of Megatron directed straight at his head, he had no other choice but to help the Autobot and Decepticon coalition, wondering if it would be enough to save his afterburners.

* * *

_Starscream looked at the wires pouring out of the cranial box of Bruticus, split open like a vulgar electronic component and tried to chase away the terrible thought that he might end the same way. He really doubted that Megatron would show any forgiveness toward him, despite his sudden undivided cooperation. Starscream had gone further than he ever had before, his acts of rebellion ranging from simple insults to an outright assassination attempt. Begging would certainly not have much effect on the furious Decepticon leader… _

_The Seeker shuddered when he felt a hand resting lightly on one of his shoulders. It was a soft and gentle touch. The sensation reminded him first of Skyfire but he discarded this eventually. Skyfire was still on Earth and had not participated to the operation. And anyway, Skyfire wouldn't be friendly with him anymore. One of his wingmates? It was also a possibility which was discarded. Thundercracker and Skywarp didn't hide anymore that they despised him. He could understand their reaction: he had never tried to apologize to them or justify his actions. Who could this mystery 'bot be? _

_Turning around, Starscream faced a smiling Megatron who was observing him with rapt attention. _

"_Megatron-"_

"_Very well, Starscream, you have redeemed yourself!" said the silver robot, looking satisfied, "Your plan worked and Bruticus is ours. You might return to Earth… as my subordinate!"_

_Starscream's optics almost blinked in shock. What was going on in Megatron's head? Was he so twisted that he appreciated being betrayed by his second in command? Or was there a hidden meaning here? _

"_Thank you… for sparing me, Megatron," he replied, making his best to not stutter. _

"_Once we finish reprogramming Bruticus to obey only me, he will be unstoppable! Mwahahah!" chuckled Megatron, while he clenched his fist as if he already held the universe in his palm. Starscream looked at the obsidian fingers and wondered why they were not around his neck, squeezing him to death. _

'_Why don't you kill me Megatron? After all I've done, I obviously deserve it,' he pondered, observing discreetly the madden smile blossoming on the silver faceplate. 'You don't need me to work on Bruticus; the Constructicons could do it just as well. So why?'_

* * *

After that incident, overcome with doubts about his own behavior, he decided to show some sign of redemption toward Megatron and did his best to abandon treacherous plans, keeping his null-rays and cluster bombs for the Autobots. He never completely stopped provoking Megatron; the large mech seemed to just put up with it. However, this mysterious and powerful need for violence was still here, deep in his spark. 

Deprived of the freedom to purge his lethal impulses inside the Decepticon base, Starscream became a pure demon outside. His favorite targets were of course the Autobots but Starscream became gradually more reckless, cruel and imprudent on the battlefield, wounding quite often the members of his own team. The praise of the Decepticon Leader about his redemption was replaced by reproaches, then by warnings and new promises of punishment. Not willing to restart a war against Megatron, which he knew could never turn in his favor, he kept a low profile. But the frustration and the desire for murder that ran through his energon tubes like a poison made him more and more unstable.

Until one day, he snapped...

Just in the middle of a battle, Starscream entered in a complete fury and frontally attacked Optimus Prime. The Autobot leader quickly took the upper hand, wounding the Seeker's wings but Starscream did not seem to realize it. Yelling, kicking, thrashing like he was possessed, he became the focus of the battlefield; Decepticons and Autobots alike stopped and stared with horrified optics at this scene of pure madness.

Finally, Megatron managed to tear him away from Optimus Prime before the truck shot him in the chest. The Decepticon leader kept the Seeker firmly pinned between him and a rock, until Starscream stopped struggling and running low on energy, went limp against him.

* * *

_He didn't remember what happened after. He didn't hear Megatron's order to retreat and had no memory of the trip back to base. He regained some of his senses when his back slammed against the wall of an interrogation chamber with such a brute force that he believed Megatron wanted to embed him in the structure. Numb with fatigue and pain, he looked at Megatron, optics pleading. _

"_What happened to me?" he asked. _

"_What happened to you? You little idiot! It's me who should ask this question!" howled Megatron, slamming the smaller frame again against the wall, "What where you trying to do with Optimus Prime! Commit suicide? Bring shame to the Decepticon arm with such a foolish action?"_

"_I… I never tried… to commit suicide… even less-" stuttered the Seeker. _

"_I don't know what you had in mind… Where you even thinking at that time? Had you even noticed that Optimus Prime, frustrated with your pathetic assaults, was ready to shoot you right in the spark box?" shrieked the silver robot, "Did you even felt the barrel against your chest or were all your sensors blind with your madness?" The Decepticon leader released the pressure on Starscream's shoulders and the Seeker slid along the wall to sit on the ground. "I don't know how you got this "death wish,"Starscream, but if it is to consume you, I won't let it consume the Decepticon army. You have become a threat to everybody here!" Megatron snapped. _

"_No! I am not a threat!" _

"_Oh! Yes! You are! There is no battle without one or several Decepticons being injured because you don't even care who you are firing at! Your wing mates are afraid of flying with you! Even me, I wonder if you won't shoot me in the back!" _

"_I won't Megatron, I swear! I've stopped my treachery," whined the Seeker. _

"_Oh, yes! You stopped with your treachery only to exchanged it with sheer madness!" spat back Megatron, looking indignant, "But if you don't have the strength to stop it, I will, with or without your agreement or help!" _

"_What… What are you going to-" _

"_You are confined to base, Starscream, until Hook or Soundwave find what's wrong with you! And if nothing improves I will have you reprogrammed if necessary. It is completely out of the question to expect me to put up with a second in command who is as insane as you appear to be!"_

_Starscream shivered at the idea of having his mind manipulated and his core programming altered. "Why don't you kill me instead?" he breathed, staring deep at Megatron's optics. _

_The Decepticon leader knelt slowly in front of him, getting close enough so that Starscream could hear the main generator in his chest. _

"_Chase away this death wish that poisons you and you will find the answer by yourself."_

* * *

Terrified of Megatron's ultimate threat which was worse than any punch or laser shot, Starscream did his best to repress his murder desires. He avoided reprogramming but he never completely managed to channel his violent outburst and murderous desire. When he was on the verge of exploding and felt the urge to vent his violence on Megatron or any other Decepticons, he flew away and exiled himself in a desert area where he could fire in all directions, break rocks until his hands were scratched, his null rays empty and his body depleted of energy. He suspected that Megatron knew about his escapes; the Decepticon leader had barged into his quarters after his long absences and caught him several times when he was tending to his bleeding body. 

He never tried to fight the "death wish" as he couldn't understand what it was really about. And this evil was still lurking, somewhere, inside him, whispering at him to reject reason and choose madness. And of course, he never found the answer to the question of Megatron's strange "lenience" toward him. Until their escape from the ruins of the city, when Megatron gave him some answers.

* * *

"_I never killed you because first, the army was already enough reduced and I couldn't afford losing a warrior so stupidly…" _

_A wall outside collapsed under the shot of a laser. _

"_Secondly, I've always thought that despite your miserable temper, you were a good warrior and an excellent Air Commander. I don't shoot people who are competent, even if they do try to stab me in the back. I'd rather try to handle them." _

_Another shot blasted the entrance of the building. _

"_Third, I've never understood why you suddenly came to hate me and tried to overthrow me. But I swear, I'll find the truth of the story, one day!" _

* * *

"Why did I hate you? Because I didn't ever try to know the truth," he murmured. "Because you were right when you told me that my emotions, whatever it is jealousy, over-grown ambition, sadness, boldness or madness… Everything blinds me, weakens me. And I can't do anything about it! You're so right. It's like a death wish… as if I've been programmed to aim for my own destruction." 

His head fell back and he sighed. Today again, if only he hadn't been so foolish, so impulsive. If only he had complied with the command of the medic, taken some rest and recharged properly, he wouldn't be here but outside, in the sky, scattering away Stalkers and this so-called Tanker.

'_Scattering away Stalkers!'_ Starscream shivered at the thought, both by desire and fright of succumbing to the temptation of crawling to the battlefield and stupidly sacrifice his life. No! He wouldn't listen to this "death wish" and would be reasonable this time. Searching his operating system, he found the program launching the auto-repair sequence. He knew it would plunge him into a light stasis but that was the only choice he had left. A voice, deep inside him, hissed "coward! Get out there and go and fight!" but he ignored it.

While all his systems powered down he made a promise to himself. Once he got online again he would do his best to regain his honor as Air Commander. He would rule the sky and lead his fellow Cybertronians to the doom of the Empire of Salonia. All would call him "Lord Starscream, the ruler of the skies!" again and respect him as a wise officer.

And above all, he would act with more reason and never again, let this "death wish" – whatever it was – get the better of him. He would make himself worthy of battling at the side of Megatron.

No, better… He would make himself worthy of _being by his side_.

* * *

**Several hours later.**

It was the feeling of a hand wandering on his canopy and murmurs around him that woke Starscream from his light stasis. Then the caress disappeared and the volume of the voices increased. One was very familiar to him and was whispering something in his audios. He slowly powered on his optics and shivered when he realized who was leaning over him.

Megatron was an absolute mess. His body was damaged in several parts and some panels were missing, showing sparkling circuits and leaking pipes. His silver paint job showed traces of burns and disgraceful gashes. He had been certainly caught in a battle that had left him battered and trembling. Starscream wanted to cry out and asked him what had happened but his vocal processor refused to work. His motor functions were also not responding and denied him the right to bring any comfort to the injured mech.

Megatron's right hand moved to Starscream's cheek, fingertips brushing almost shyly against the cool metal. His mouth outlined a smile and his optics shone softly with a glimpse of tenderness.

"Oh, Starscream… How did you make me care so much about you?"

Although he hadn't initiated the decryption of the lost memory file, his computer announced to him that it was reading. And the scene started to play…

* * *

_Starscream shivered fiercely and his energy field flared despite his will in response to those words. _

"_Don't you think it's time for you to tell the truth, Starscream?" Megatron whispered, lowering his face closer to his. _

_The young Seeker moaned as he felt the fiery energy field wrapping around him. "What… truth?"_

_Megatron lowered his face a bit more, and this time his lips brushed against Starscream's._

"_The truth you bury deep in your spark and hide behind foolish acts of bravado and treachery. You can't fool me forever."_

_Without awaiting his reaction, Megatron sealed their lips in a light kiss. Starscream's surprise and weak protest died under the delicate sensation of this curious glossa tracing his lips, gently and softly, begging for more intimacy. __Fe__w seconds of this sweet torture were enough to annihilate his spirit of rebellion and he surrendered. _

_He left the notion of time and even pain. Only felt the warmth created by Megatron's touch and kiss, until the delicious sensation left him when Megatron pulled back._

"_You desire me but refuse to admit it," whispered Megatron, breaking the kiss. His lips trailed up, caressing a cheek. "Will it help you to admit it if I confess I desire you as well?" he added, licking a tear. "Although my feelings are beyond a simple desire…"_

_Starscream let out a sob while fire devoured his chest and he trembled. A part of him begged to surrender while the other part wanted nothing else but to kick away the Decepticon leader. His vision blurred while tears flowed down his lips._

"_You… you are the center of my life," he stuttered, "My obsession… My reason to be… Everything. I want to be with you… so dearly."_

_Their gaze locked in shock at those words. Then a kind of genuine smile appeared on the lips of the Decepticon's leader. _

"_At last, you admit it," replied Megatron, kissing him again with this surprising softness, "Why did we have to reach such a precipice for you to face this? Why do you act sometimes as if you want exactly the opposite? I don't understand you, Starscream," he added, brushing his nose against his cheek, "Tell me why… Give me some hints so that I can understand you."_

_Starscream stared at him and a kind of flash passed through his optics. He couldn't feel the strange heat in his body preceding his usual crisis of anger. The confusion clouding his mind when Megatron was so close was also gone. No, everything in his mind was suddenly very clear._

"_It's… in me, Megatron," he breathed, "I want nothing else than to be with you but every time, it pushes me in the opposite direction."__Emotions were now too strong for him to control the shaking of his body. "It's beyond my control… It's like a death wish and it's going to kill me!"_

_A light moan escaped him when Megatron raised him to lean by his side on the berth without care of the energon staining his immaculate paint-job. Strong arms snaked around his back and waist and pulled him closer. _

"_Shh, I'm here," whispered Megatron, kissing his forehead._

"_I want… to be with you… forever… but," the flyer stuttered, "I can never-"_

"_Calm down. Nobody will kill you, I won't allow that… certainly not now that we have found each other."_

"_No! You can't stop it! It's in me!" Starscream shrieked. He squealed and gripped Megatron by the shoulders, ignoring the pain caused by his wounds. His optics gleamed madly as he peered up at Megatron. "And it wants you dead!"_

"_Calm down, Starscream!" Megatron managed to take a hold of him, pinning him strongly against him. "You're hurt. You must calm down and fall into stasis," he added, kissing him gently on the forehead, "I'll take care of the rest."_

"_No, Megatron. You have to listen to me!" Starscream exclaimed. He suddenly felt weak as his power level went down. "No! No! I'm shutting down! I'm shutting down!" he squealed in panic. "Don't let me-"_

"_Shh ! Don't get upset or try to move, you'll aggravate your wounds," Megatron replied, kissing him lightly, "And it's normal that you are shutting down. You're wounded and your system is shutting down to prevent dangerous overheating. I will bring you to the Constructicons and order them to repair you. And they will. After, you will remain in your quarters, until I make sure nobody is going to harm you. Then, only then, you will join me on the battle and," his words trailed off while his lips travelled down Starscream's dark face line to tease his lips. "And then, it will be a new era for you and me."_

"_Me-Megatron, I-" stuttered the flyer, falling in the darkness of recharge. "Save… me. Don't abandon me."_

"_I care about you, Starscream," whispered the warlord, "so much…"_

_The kiss that Megatron gave him was the last thing that Starscream's felt before his systems shut down._

* * *

Megatron's body went limp and his arms, deprived of energy, gave up; his body fell to cover a part of the still frame of his second in command. His face slid awkwardly along the obsidian helmet and finally rested against his faceplate. Starscream's spark tingled at the sensation of so many feelings that it was ready to explode. Data rushed through his CPU so quickly that it was overheating. Megatron was back with him, and in such close proximity! He could almost forget his lame condition. 

A shadow darkened his sight and he saw somebody leaning over.

"Yes, you'll be always welcome, brother!" sniggered a mech whose voice was very similar to Megatron's, "By the way, I think your reputation of Mighty One among the mightiest, Slag Maker, fearless Decepticon warlord and nya nya nya is somehow… hum… tarnished! Mwah Mwah!"

The mech readjusted the position of Megatron's face so that his lips were now pressed against Starscream's in a light kiss.

'_Megatron, you're back with me,'_ the jet wondered. Gathering his strength, he groped about feeling for Megatron's hand and once he found it, he entwined his fingers with his and initiated stasis mode again. _'Yes, Megatron. We found each other and nothing will be the same as before.' _

For once in his life Starscream was not afraid to fall in stasis. He was not alone anymore.

**The End  
**

* * *

**Note: **This side-story is now finished but the story will continue with chapter 18 of Hunted Species and followings. The story will be upgraded to the M section and I hope to come up with a new chapter within a few weeks. Thanks everyone for your support and thanks Maraluch for the beta reading work and all the good advices! 

**References (all episodes from season 2):**

1. The Core

2. A Decepticon Raider at King Arthur's Court

3. Hoist Loves Hollywood

4. Starscream's Brigade

5. The Revenge of Bruticus


End file.
